Cubs have to make changes, right?
Rest assured that Jim Hendry is as disgusted as you are with the state of the 2009 Cubs, and he's not likely to sit back and watch it again next season.
What's not as obvious is what he can do about it.
The Cubs GM can't tear it up and start over for at least two reasons.
One is that it's Lou Piniella's final year - maybe his last ever as a manager - and he's not going to want a rebuilding project.
The other is that the Cubs can't move most of the their bad contracts.
Forgive me for not being surprised, because while universally cheered when signed, we warned here of the consequences of such lengthy and pricey deals for players like Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Zambrano and Kosuke Fukudome.
Still, moves have to be made for 2010, money has to be dispatched, and holes have to be filled.
Rather than complain about the misery that is Soriano, let's discuss who still has worth and can be moved.
The most obvious is Zambrano, who is only going to get wackier, heavier and pricier, at $18 million annually for three more years (and possibly a vested fourth).
He's a risk to get hurt at any moment, either through his own negligence, a self-inflicted wound, or normal pitching injury.
He's also still has serious value/upside and there will be plenty willing to take a chance on him.
Derrek Lee ($13 million in 2010) is a terrific guy and he's had a nice year, but he'll be 34 in a week, and with the exception of a few months here or there, he's been nothing like the player who went 46-107-.335 in 2005.
Believe it or not, there might be a market for Milton Bradley ($10.5 million average the next two years).
There's so many things wrong inside this guy's head that it would take a full team of psychiatrists to get him straight, and we're not about to try.
Suffice it to say that if he doesn't want to be here, to play in front of the best and most forgiving fans in the world, the Cubs should do all they can to find him some new walls off which to bounce.
Despite what you've seen most of the year, Bradley can still hit, and there ought to be an AL team interested.
Fukudome ($13 million average next two years) has also played mediocre enough that maybe you can trick someone.
Three of the four have no-trade protection (Bradley doesn't), which means it's going to cost their new clubs even more money in extensions.
So the Cubs will have to pay some salary, but those four players add up to $54 million in 2010 payroll, and with even half that you could fill a lot of holes.
In trades of Zambrano, Lee, Bradley or Fukudome, they ought to be able to get a couple good young pitchers, and maybe one who can step right into the rotation.
Plus in free agency, there's always a Randy Wolf type out there for $5 million.
At first base, you could put Jake Fox and probably get the same offense, though you'd sure lose a bunch on defense, and you still need a center fielder, right fielder, second baseman and bullpen help.
Last fall, White Sox GM Kenny Williams moved very early and began dumping bad contracts like crazy before the winter meetings while teams were still scrambling to fill holes.
He was criticized, but that payroll flexibility is why he was able to make the moves this summer for Jake Peavy and Alex Rios.
Just something to keep in mind as the Cubs slog their way to one of the worst finishes in recent memory.
And that's saying a lot.
Third try
You have to believe that eventually the White Sox want to move Gordon Beckham to shortstop, and perhaps Alexei Ramirez to second (or to a new address).
But first they have to solve the third base issue, and there is a solution in San Diego named Kevin Kouzmanoff, who is arbitration eligible and therefore probably available from the Padres.
Kenny Williams obviously has a relationship with the Padres, and Kouzmanoff could be a 25- to 30-homer guy on the South Side.
Even better, he's made only 3 errors at third this season in 123 games, and has by far the best fielding percentage among every day third baseman.
All heart
All-time good guy Denis Savard renamed one of his colts in honor of his friend, local jockey Rene Douglas, who suffered very serious injuries at Arlington Park earlier this summer.
Our Douglas finished third Sunday while ridden by Douglas pal Eddie Razo.
Solid gold
Plainfield's Lisa Chesson has been selected to the 23-player roster for USA Hockey's Women's National Team. The squad is directed by Wisconsin coach Mark Johnson, who will make two final cuts in December. Those who survive will play for Team USA in the Winter Games in Vancouver in February.
Safeway Classic
If you suddenly have a hankering for the LPGA, the TV schedule is as follows for the weekend in Portland: 3-5 p.m. Friday (ESPN2), 4-6 p.m. Saturday (ESPN2), and 3-5 p.m. Sunday (ESPN). The stunning lack of air time speaks volumes about where the LPGA is today.
Just asking
E-mailer The Last Bear Fan: "Shouldn't August baseball in Chicago come with that beep you hear when a nearby truck is in reverse?''
Best quote
A caddie, who preferred to remain nameless, to several writers covering this weekend's FedEx Cup event in New Jersey, on the $250 million course: "They ruined a perfectly good landfill."
And finally-
Comedian Alex Kaseberg, on South African runner Caster Semenya, and her next gender test: "It's fairly standard. She is handed a beer and a TV remote. Then, they toss a flower vase at her. If she drops the remote or the beer to catch it, she can't be male.''
brozner@dailyherald.com