When is line crossed into alcoholism?
Q. I have a 44-year-old male friend who drinks at least six beers a day. He never gets loud or drunk, but I feel he is an alcoholic. He prefers beer when soda is available and makes excuses as to why he should indulge in his beverage of choice. He claims beer is mainly water and feels I have an equal addiction to Mountain Dew. It doesn't satisfy him that I drink only two cans of soda a day, while he consumes six beers in the same time period.
He hasn't seen a doctor in the 12 years I've known him and obviously won't listen to me when I suggest he take better care of his health.
A. Unfortunately, your friend will not respond favorably to your position until he is ready to face reality and stop drinking. Based on his current intake of alcohol, I cannot say with certainty that he is an alcoholic, but he is clearly on the way to being one.
I urge you to go to an Al-Anon meeting, where you can share your concerns with a group of nonalcoholics. This will enable you to find ways of coping more effectively with your friend's problem drinking.
You also indicate your friend has not been to a doctor in the 12 years you have known him. Frankly, he's a bit overdue at this stage. You say he will not listen to you, so this presents a challenge. Explain to him that the constant ingestion of alcohol can lead to high blood pressure readings, thiamine and other vitamin deficiencies, depression, liver damage, cardiac-related conditions, dementia and more. I am not implying he is suffering from any of these conditions, but I would think he would feel better about himself if he were to receive a clean bill of health from a physician. This can be accomplished with a simple annual examination. Should a problem surface, it will be easier to treat now rather than once it progresses.
Indicate you want him around for a long time, his family needs him to be involved in their lives, or his dog doesn't want anyone else to walk him around the block. Don't nag; just let him know you are concerned and want what is best for him.
Q. My very dear friend's 7-month-old baby boy throws tantrums. They are so severe he falls over in a faint. My friend has to spray water on the face of this precious baby to get him to breathe again. What causes this and what should we do?
A. Although tantrums are relatively common in babies, I suggest that your friend discuss this situation with the baby's pediatrician. You can both be guided by his or her recommendations.
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