This is one scary Cubs theory

Much like the last two years, I was certain the Cubs would win - by default - the NL Central this season.

I continue to believe that despite everything that has gone wrong, which is pretty much everything, up to and including the absence of ownership, which puts them at a huge disadvantage as the trade deadline approaches.

Now, every once in awhile, there's a season just destined to be one of those in which absolutely nothing goes right.

It happens. Happens all the time in sports. There are years everything goes your way, and years like this one.

Thing is, even after the Ryan Dempster busted toe, the Cubs didn't stop playing, and if anything should have finally gotten in their heads, it would have been that ridiculous injury.

But the Cubs wouldn't go away after being handed every reason to quit in 2009.

OK, you say, so what if they do somehow manage to win their sickly division?

It's difficult to see them handling the Dodgers or Phillies, right? And the Cubs have proven they're not built for the postseason.

They have too many wretched October hitters, players who can't handle No. 1 and 2 starters, and can't touch closers, and that's how it goes in the postseason.

They have a terrible outfield defense, not to mention zero production from too many positions.

So what great achievement is it to reach the postseason looking much weaker than the last two years, when they were unceremoniously swept out of October baseball?

Maybe that's exactly why, for the first time since 1945, they'll make it out of the NL this year.

Before you have me committed, hear me out.

In a soft National League, hardly anyone on Aug. 1, 2008, would have picked the Phillies to win the pennant. Two months later, no one would have picked them to get past the CC Sabathia Brewers.

Two years ago with 60 games to play, not a soul liked the Rockies. Three years ago it was the Cards, four years ago the Astros, and six years ago the Marlins.

Three of them even won it all.

You almost have to look for the team no one expects, the team with the most problems, holes and injuries, the one that barely makes it into the postseason.

It's the team that uses every ounce of energy to get in, takes a deep breath and says, "The hard part's over. What do we have to lose now?"

Please, for the love of Chuck Crim and all that's holy, don't mistake this for sound reason, or for me thinking the Cubs are good - because it's not and they're not.

This is thin - paper thin - I'll grant you that, but the National League playoffs have proven to be pathetically wide open and available to even a team that looks like it has no business being there, that had to scratch and claw and fight to the end just to win a rotten division.

And if that doesn't sound like the 2009 Cubs, who does?

Stocking stuffer

After being around A.J. Pierzynski the last five years, here are some things of which I am certain.

The man wants to win, and he puts winning above all else, especially himself, and when he sees others failing at the simplest of fundamentals because they either don't care or aren't trying, he calls them out.

Period.

He would never try to embarrass someone into playing better when he knows the guy can't do it at this level.

But when he sees a lack of effort, or a lack of preparation, it infuriates him and he's only going to watch it for so long, especially when he thinks it hasn't been adequately addressed.

So Alexei Ramirez is on notice, and don't think Pierzynski won't do it again if need be.

It's not a bad thing, and every team ought to have a spit-disturber just like him.

As White Sox GM Kenny Williams has been known to say, "Sometimes you need someone to go all A.J. on you."

The good guys

Dr. John Girardi and his group will take 150 children from the city's most impoverished neighborhoods to the Sox-Yankees game Friday, where they'll get to meet and hear from several Yankees players, not to mention John's brother, manager Joe Girardi.

For more info on the "By The Hand Club For Kids," and the terrific work they're doing, visit bythehand.org.

The good cause

Former Cubs, Sox and Wolves exec Jim Bentel is co-hosting the 11th Annual Ki's Golf Outing on Aug. 31 at Glendale Lakes Golf Club, benefiting the American Cancer Society and the Aplastic Anemia Foundation.

The outing is in honor of Bentel's late wife, Catherine, who died of aplastic anemia. For more info, contact jbentel@comcast.net.

Remove your cap

What will you remember most about the Brian Anderson era?

Cover your eyes

So the Bears haven't even gotten in their cars to drive to camp, and they already have their first major injury?

Grab your cape

As his first official Bears act, would it be asking too much for Jay Cutler to simply leap in the air and fly to Bourbonnais?

And finally -

N.Y. Daily News' Mike Lupica, on Steve Phillips, the current ESPN analyst and former Mets GM: "Steve Phillips passing judgment on anybody around the Mets is generally funnier to me than MASH reruns."