Even with Babe DeRosa, Cubs would be struggling

I'd like to know when Mark DeRosa became the Sultan of Swat.

No, seriously.

I mean, I know he went from nondescript to virtual all-star at age 31 after spending some quality time in Texas - which is a club that seems to get new members every year - but Hall of Famer?

And while I fully admit to being out to lunch about half the time, I didn't realize the Cubs won the World Series twice while DeRosa was in town.

Now, how did I miss that?

I didn't notice when DeRosa hit .300, stole 40 bases, collected 150 hits, won a Gold Glove, or drove in 100 runs.

But to hear people talk about him, he is without a doubt the best player the Cubs have ever traded.

DeRosa averaged 15 homers, 80 RBI, 3 stolen bases and hit .289, and the screaming wasn't this loud when the Cubs traded Fergie Jenkins or Billy Williams.

It's odd because no one wanted him when the Cubs signed him. He's what they called versatile, which in baseball means he's got no position.

Now, forgiving my sarcasm, Mark DeRosa is a heck of a guy, great teammate, fine spokesman and quality player.

He did a great job here in Chicago, but the manager wanted more left-handed bats and the Cubs were stuck at many positions with right-handed contracts that couldn't be relocated even with those Mega Movers you find on the History Channel.

DeRosa was right-handed and marketable.

Mistake? Yes. But he ain't Babe Ruth, and he ain't the reason the Cubs aren't winning the division by 10 games already.

He's having a good year, but where would the Cubs be with DeRosa? Let's be generous and say 5 games better than they are now.

So they'd be right around tied for first, hardly playing what you'd call great, and the focus would be on how bad the high-priced guys are hitting, that they're getting nothing from Milton Bradley, Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome for $38 million this season.

By the way, if you subtracted Mike Fontenot, Aaron Miles and Jake Fox and added DeRosa, the Cubs would go from .245 to .249, from fourth worst in all of baseball in batting average to fifth worst in all of baseball in batting average.

DeRosa's a really nice player and a really good guy, but Albert Pujols he isn't.

Even so, the History Channel might want to consider a new series when they're done with the current examination of the planet when there are no more people.

They could call it, "Life After DeRosa."

Nasty Lou

Still waiting for the Lou Piniella who wasn't afraid to kick tail in Cincinnati.

Consider the words of original "Nasty Boy" Randy Myers, who told me the following the week Piniella was hired:

"You play the game right, and play hard-nosed, and play to win, and you'll get along great with Lou. If you don't - you'll sit or you'll be sent out.

"My experience is that he's not going to be very nice to the guys who care more about their stats than winning. He wouldn't have put up with a guy like Sammy (Sosa) -

"He doesn't want a team where you have to tell a guy to move a runner over. - We'd play small, get the early lead and turn every game into a five-inning game. All we did was win the World Series."

Moving Campbell

According to the Toronto Sun, the Blackhawks tried to unload overpriced defenseman Brian Campbell on the Senators, offering to take Dany Heatley in return, but Ottawa wouldn't bite.

Too good to be true, of course, but a good effort from GM Dale Tallon, nonetheless.

What Tallon might want to consider now is turning Campbell into a No. 2 center - Dave Bolland is a solid No. 3 - or even a winger, where Campbell can use his speed and skating to the Hawks' advantage.

What the Hawks ought to do is stop pretending Campbell can play defense, or that he cares enough to play defense. He didn't in Buffalo or San Jose and he doesn't here.

On the other hand, Campbell could be a point-a-game player up front, and if Joel Quenneville can get him to backcheck (he did it with Martin Havlat) that type of Campbell would be a valuable player and, with his speed, one of the most exciting in the league.

Junior champ

Congrats to Glenview native Dex Reese, who captured the Illinois State Junior Amateur title last week at Makray Memorial Golf Club in Barrington. The 18-year-old Reese, runner-up at last year's Chick Evans Junior Amateur Championship, also is a member of the Illinois Wesleyan golf team.

Holding hands

E-mailer Mr. Buttermaker: "Isn't Jack Haley available to baby-sit Milton Bradley?"

Best headline

Sportspickle.com: "Slumping hitter not sure how he got stuck in paper bag in first place."

And finally -

E-mailer Art Hantel: "I want to believe that John Paxson has something up his sleeve. Problem is, every time I see him, he's wearing a short sleeve shirt."

brozner@dailyherald.com