Arlington Hts. dad turns dinner chats into 'Guide to Life' book

Dinner at the Rosenbaum house was never quick.

Until the kids moved out, the Arlington Heights family of four used dinnertime as a time to talk - often for hours - about what was going on in their lives or what was on their minds.

"Our friends knew that if we were having dinner at 6, not to call until at least 11," jokes Stephanie Rosenbaum, now 23 and living in Chicago.

Those long discussions unveiled important life lessons and insights, and ultimately lead to the new book, "(Your Name Here) Guide to Life" (Barosum Books, $12.99), by Stephanie's father, business consultant and writer Michael Rosenbaum.

If one of his daughters said, "Someone was mean to me at school," Rosenbaum would listen to the story, ask questions, absorb the details, and together they'd conclude that you can't change people, but you can change the way you react. Mentioning "I can't" led to deeper discussions about choices in life. And if the girls asked Rosenbaum something, like, what he wanted for his birthday, he'd say "Time with you," which spiraled into talks about materialism and the precious gift of time.

"At some point, someone in my family said, 'You know? You should write this all down,'" said Rosenbaum, 56, who then amassed a collection of Post-its, shreds of paper and napkins filled with ideas. "While I was waiting to write the book, my daughters grew up."

The book, a conversational, 115-page paperback, is filled with common sense lessons they discussed at the table but that people tend to overlook.

"I'd like to say my words are timeless and universal. But really, all of us grapple with the same issues," Rosenbaum said. "Why should anyone listen to me? I've taken a journey other people can take. These are my stories about something I learned."

Rosenbaum did take a journey. For most of his life, he had a negative outlook on life.

"I thought, well, if today was lousy, tomorrow is going to be terrible," he said. "At one point, I just got tired of being unhappy."

He didn't turn to therapy, but rather, gradually realized his unhappiness had nothing to do with anyone or anything around him. By changing his attitude, and remembering what was important, he changed his life.

"I don't run around giggling all day saying hello to the birds and the flowers now," he said. "But it's possible to think about your life in a way that's productive. And being happy doesn't mean you don't have a bad day once in a while."

Rosenbaum doesn't want to preach or guarantee a happy life for anyone who reads his book. He's just hoping to share the important things he's learned.

"My dad can relate to people of all ages," Stephanie Rosenbaum said. "Some of (the book) is common sense. but you get caught up in everyday things, so you need a book like this to go, 'Oh yeah! Right!'"