Governor borrows for his 'I will fight' speech

He is a plagiarist too, our governor.

As if the charges of snatching money from sick children and selling out Obama's legacy weren't bad enough.

Now Rod R. has gone and committed literary larceny by stealing a line from Cyrano de Bergerac.

"Whilst I have breath, I will fight you. I will fight you. I will fight you," said Mr. de Bergerac, the great French playwright from the 1600s.

"I will fight. I will fight. I will fight until I take my last breath" said Gov. Blagojevich during his memorized statement on Friday.

Even though Blagojevich went to Northwestern and to Pepperdine, you didn't actually think those fighting words just materialized from the thin lips of a former north side Chicago street punk, did you?

Maybe the governor thought that by slightly updating the quote, he could get away with plagiarizing France's greatest dramatist.

The wiretaps may have been pulled, Mr. Governor, but we are still listening.

Since he went on to quote a Rudyard Kipling poem in his remarks last Friday, it would have been very natural for Mr. Blagojevich to use de Bergerac's actual words: "Whilst I have breath, I will fight you. I will fight you. I will fight you."

But Blagojevich, who nearly hyperventilated during his no-notes statement, might have struggled with the word "whilst." And besides, few of the "working men and women in Illinois" that the governor purports to love would have known what the heck he meant.

So, he just corrupted the line and turned it into his own.

What followed around the world were boldfaced headlines shouting the Holy Trinity according to Rod: "I will fight. I will fight. I will fight."

Since today is the 48th birthday of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, Chicago's most beloved crime fighter since Dick Tracy, Governor Blagojevich ought to do the right thing and confess to the plagiarism accusation. Even if he didn't mean to plagiarize, Rod R. ought to admit the terrible oversight and blatant slap at the French people and their honorable stage crafter Cyrano de Bergerac.

Of course, the spirit of the governor's defiant statement plagiarized numerous other politicians as well, including George "Hell no I didn't know" Ryan and Richard "I'm not a crook" Nixon. But neither of them was a literary star like de Bergerac.

In ripping off de Bergerac, the governor did select a perfect model for his current tribulation. Cyrano was an outspoken swashbuckler who amazed onlookers with his articulate manner. Just like Rod.

The Frenchman was also known for a remarkable facial formation, just as Rod is renowned for the bucket-cut hairdo that sweeps down across his forehead.

In de Bergerac's case it was a giant nose, which dominated his appearance and his legend. "Why are you looking at my nose," he used to ask the transfixed. "I can never be loved," he would say. "Even by the ugliest. My nose precedes me by fifteen minutes."

In the same manner, Gov. Blagojevich and his prominent coifing are always preceded by a state police bodyguard carrying a hair brush, known in security code as "the football."

De Bergerac also faced the same fate that many believe Mr. Blagojevich is certain to experience: death with only his panache in place.

Rod R. (did you know the R doesn't stand for anything? His middle name is just the letter R) could avoid these plagiarism problems by following one simple command: only quote Elvis in future public statements.

It is well known that the governor fancies himself as Elvis Presley reincarnated. Mr. Blagojevich regularly recites lines from his songs and even swaggers like the King, especially while running in one of his jogging suits.

When the FBI showed up at Rod R's house to arrest him, he even recoiled into the fetal position just like Elvis used to do under his satin sheets down at Graceland.

So, the next time the governor makes a speech decrying the federal persecution, he should stand firm and shun the calls for his resignation from office.

It is still early in the duel, the governor should remind people.

Then, quoting Elvis his patron saint, he should sing: "Wise men say only fools rush in."

• Chuck Goudie, whose column appears each Monday, is the chief investigative reporter at ABC 7 News in Chicago. The views in this column are his own and not those of WLS-TV. He can be reached by e-mail at chuckgoudie@gmail.com.