Lohan just sad in not-scary thriller

"I Know Who Killed Me"

2 1/2 stars

out of four

Opens today

Starring As

Lindsay Lohan Aubrey Flemming/Dakota Moss

Garcelle Beauvias Investigator

Spencer Garrett Investigator

Neal McDonough Daniel Flemming

Julia Ormond Susan Flemming

Written by Jeff Hammond. Produced by Frank Mancuso Jr. Directed by Chris Siverston. A TriStarPictures release. Rated R (grisly violence, sexuality, nudity and language). Running time: 105 minutes.

Until very recently, the prospect of "I Know Who Killed Me" might have seemed utterly tantalizing.

Perpetual train wreck Lindsay Lohan plays a stripper, and famously suffered bruises all over her body when she got all Method-y and actually trained for the role on a pole. It might have been fun, if only in a late-night, laugh-out-loud kind of way.

Now, after yet another arrest and further evidence of a worsening substance abuse problem, it just seems a sad waste of talent, a sad lack of judgment, a sad course for a promising career.

But the film itself, which wasn't screened for critics before opening day, would have been horrendous anyway; place any other actress in the part and it's just another straight-to-DVD release.

Lohan stars as both Aubrey, an aspiring writer who goes missing, and Dakota, an exotic dancer who wakes up in the hospital with parts of her right arm and leg sawed off. Investigators (Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon and Spencer Garrett) searching for a possible serial killer and even Aubrey's parents (Neal McDonough and Julia Ormond) swear the girl is Aubrey. She keeps insisting she's Dakota.

Does she have amnesia? Is she delusional? Or maybe she's identical twins, and this is "The Parent Trap" with pasties.

(Just so we don't get confused, director Chris Sivertson has imposed an easy-to-follow, overbearing color scheme. The Lohan-as-Aubrey segments are drenched in cobalt blue, from her convertible Lexus to the gag that's placed in her mouth as she's being tortured; for Lohan-as-Dakota, everything is red, including the bras and bustiers she wears on stage. So helpful!)

But it's tough to get engrossed in any mystery Sivertson is trying to achieve, working from a script by first-timer Jeffrey Hammond, because so much of what Lohan is called to do is a distracting reminder of her off-camera misadventures. Performing on stage as Dakota, she leans up against a pole and slides down it, eyes closed, mouth open, head tossed back. And you're watching her thinking: Where have I seen that before? Oh, yeah -- that looks just like the photograph of Lohan sitting passed-out in the passenger seat of a car after a long night of partying.

Even if you could ignore that sort of thing, there's nothing even remotely scary or suspenseful about "I Know Who Killed Me." Ridiculous is the word that more often comes to mind.