‘A place of peace, healing and comfort’: Catholic diocese erects first memorial in nation to those affected by suicide

A somber prayer service marked the dedication Friday of a memorial for families and their loved ones affected by suicide at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Hillside.

The At Peace memorial — the first of its kind in the nation — honors lives lost to suicide and offers a space for prayer and remembrance, according to officials with the Catholic Cemeteries of the Archdiocese of Chicago.

“This is the only shrine in the United States in memory of those who have died by suicide,” said Bishop Lawrence Sullivan, vicar general of the Archdiocese of Chicago. “Families really suffer when they lose a loved one to suicide. We want them to know that the church supports them in their grief, and that God is with us … during our times of pain and suffering.”

Historically, the Catholic Church has denied funeral Mass in churches and burials in consecrated ground for those who have died by suicide. But over the last several decades, the church has undergone a transformation in its understanding of suicide and mental illness, officials said.

“We’re trying to normalize people talking about the experiences that we’re going through, and having a shrine to memorialize those who died by suicide is really giving people permission to talk about their loss, and to talk about their pain, and to know that there's a community of faith who is with them, and that God is certainly present during that time of despair,” Sullivan said. “For families carrying the pain of losing a loved one to suicide, we want this to be a place of peace, healing and comfort.”

Sullivan developed the idea for the memorial amid discussions on heightened awareness of mental illness during the COVID-19 pandemic. He consulted with mental health advocates, pastoral leaders and members of the Catholic Charities Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS) program.

The program, founded nearly 50 years ago by the Rev. Charles Rubey, provides outreach. Rubey said he was moved to launch the program by parishioners being denied prayers for their loved ones who had died by suicide and told by priests that they now were “in hell.”

“This monument … is really a revolutionary experience,” Rubey said. “(It) shows the church’s willingness to acknowledge past misunderstandings of suicide, and to stand with survivors and grieve their loss with them. The memorial shows survivors that their loved ones are with God, their lives were sacred and they are included among the faithful.”

The tranquil shrine, prominently situated near Queen of Heaven Cemetery’s main entrance on Wolf Road, offers visitors a walk-through experience with three parts comprising an angel, a dedication sign and a large silver sculpture with peace doves.

The Embracing Angel is a 6-foot-tall cast bronze sculpture featuring an angel whose wings cradle a granite bench. Ascending Doves is a 20-foot-tall sculpture composed of stainless steel and bronze atop a solid granite base weighing more than 10,000 pounds. The sculpture features nine bronze doves rising upward, symbolizing hope and transcendence.

Talking about mental health is the best way to prevent future loss, says Angela Cummings, executive director of the Illinois Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

“It may seem counterintuitive to a lot of people because there is still kind of this pervasive myth that if you talk about suicide, you might put the idea in someone’s head,” Cummings. “We’ve just learned so much from research and from talking to a ton of survivors that it is in fact the opposite.”

For the national suicide prevention hotline, text or call 988.