471 years of marriage: Eight couples renew vows, offer advice, at ceremony in Bartlett

Cupid’s arrow sure hit the mark for eight couples who celebrated a combined 471 years of marriage during a ceremony Thursday in Bartlett.

But don’t underestimate the roles friends, relatives, and even a miniskirt played in bringing them together.

“Love is not about perfection. It is about showing up again and again and again,” said Sue Skender, a chaplain and member of the life enrichment team at Hearthwood Senior Living in Bartlett.

Skender led the eight couples in a vow renewal in the chapel at Hearthwood, where they all live.

They were Vince and Marilyn Catalan, Joyce and Les Zemba, Al and Pat Bickoff, Harold and Dian Hoyem, Don and Sharon Miller, Jim and Judy Bejna, Betsy and Mike Penny, and Chuck and Agnes Fruehe.

The longest married — and celebrating on their actual anniversary — were the Fruehes, who married in 1955.

They met through a young adults club at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Lombard, when Agnes’ sister, who helped run the club, asked Chuck to drive Agnes home after a meeting.

“The rest is history,” Agnes quipped.

Asked what she thought when she was about to go down the aisle 71 years ago, Agnes replied “I was just happy it was going to take place.” The two had become engaged two years earlier. But then Chuck was drafted into the Army, and they decided to wait until he returned home.

Chuck’s thoughts: “Let’s get this over with.”

Advice to couples setting out? Marriage is work. “Of course, you get mad. Everybody gets mad,” Chuck said. “But you still have to sleep with her.”

“Don’t make a big deal out of the small stuff,” Agnes advised.

Faith and family

Mike and Betsy Penny had a whirlwind romance, marrying six months after they met while studying at the University of Missouri 66 years ago.

They met on a blind date set up by one of her sorority sisters. Betsy thought Mike “was kind of a nice-looking guy.”

“I liked the way you looked,” Mike said.

They eloped because her parents didn’t approve of her getting married before she graduated from college. She was 20, he was 22.

Betsy credited having children pretty quickly (two before they graduated), their families, and their Catholic Christian faith for getting them through rough patches.

“They (the families and the church) weren’t big on divorce,” she said. “You just worked at this. You just did not give up.”

Blind date

Al and Pat Bickoff were married in 1970 at Northlake Lutheran Church.

Pat remembers what it was like standing in the back of the church, about to walk down the aisle.

“When I looked at him (Al), I wanted to laugh,” Pat said. “And when I looked at my dad, I wanted to cry. I could not believe we were doing this.”

The two were set up by a friend of hers who was married to Al’s brother. But they had sort of met before that at a wedding.

“I didn’t remember him. He remembered me,” Pat said, laughing.

“That’s because she had a miniskirt on,” Al said.

Al said he and her father were at a bowling alley when he asked for Patricia’s hand. “I have to think about it,” her father responded.

How did they stick together? “We like doing things together,” Al said, such as golfing. (Pat has had five holes-in-one.)

“The person you marry is not perfect,” Pat said. “But then you are not perfect either.”