Hot takes by the lake: The Shedeur Sanders story comes to Chicago to face the Bears

Here’s something no one has said, ever: This winter … Cleveland’s where it’s at!

Any other year, that sentence would sound as if it’s coming from a contrarian trying to win an argument with a crazy person. Usually, December and January in Cleveland feel like hell, if hell is like living inside a cryogenic chest freezer. Yet despite its perpetually gray skies and lake effect snowstorms, Cleveland is about to become a haven for hot takes.

This is because Shedeur Sanders officially has been named the Browns’ starting quarterback for the rest of the season, including Sunday’s game against the Bears at Soldier Field.

Even for the Sanders agnostics, the group of people such as myself who hold neutral feelings about his future in the league, winter in Cleveland is for all of us. Why? The drama. I might be impartial, but I’m pro-messy.

So four more weeks of former pros-turned-conspiracy theorists pushing the narrative that coach Kevin Stefanski is actively sabotaging his rookie quarterback? This is what we have been looking for.

A whole month of infighting from sports media types, decoding the body language of Browns’ players and dissecting social media graphics as if they’re game films? Yes, yes and yes!

And an infusion of the commander in chief being fully invested in the career of a fifth-round draft pick, opposing players mocking the celebration of a fifth-round NFL draft pick, and … Sister-Gate? Please, sir. I want some more.

No one in football makes people lose their minds quite like Shedeur Sanders. (Attention NFL on Fox, it’s probably best never to use an image of Sanders tied up in rope ever again.) Since his college days in Colorado, when Sanders played for his famous father, his defenders and haters have met in undisclosed parking lots with switchblades and bike chains, fighting to the death. Well, not really — instead, these soldiers have saved their fiercest battles for their message boards or recording studios, where Sanders remains the break-glass-in-case-of-emergency topic that can fill segments on sports shows.

While hysteria surrounds him, Sanders himself might need his pulse checked, the way he stays so chill. He has a confidence that allows him to rise above — or stay humorously detached from it all. When former coach Rex Ryan scowled and ranted about Sanders in September on an ESPN morning show for “running his mouth,” Sanders responded by silently pantomiming his answers to reporters. When he does speak openly, Sanders’s postgame news conferences can turn into performance art. He’s either smiling, answering sarcastically at questions he views as dumb and obvious, or casting a higher power as his personal emcee.

Just marvel at this exchange Sunday after Sanders threw for 364 yards and three touchdowns against the Tennessee Titans.

Reporter: “ … do you think you showed just the moxie, the never-say-die relentlessness, the ability to just come back and just fight to the bitter end?”

Sanders: “I’ve been this way. So this is God showing a lot of people who I am.”

Winter in Cleveland can be more bearable if the people get at least four more weeks of Sanders standing in front of microphones — or just more opportunities to blast their own takes. Just this week, the discussion that Stefanski has it out for his quarterback, a favorite conversation among Sanders sympathizers, reached new decibels. More than even wide receiver Jerry Jeudy, who hates Sanders, according to the internet, Stefanski exists as Sanders’s biggest foil — also according to the internet.

After Sanders’s third consecutive start, this time in Cleveland and against a truly terrible Tennessee squad, the talk centered on the Browns’ final play. Sanders had tossed his third touchdown pass, but Stefanski sidelined him for the potential game-tying 2-point conversion attempt. (Side note: Sanders had fumbled the snap on an earlier two-point attempt). The play, something that was supposed to look like a wildcat formation, failed, and the coach got blasted for taking Sanders out of the game.

“How can Shedeur be great when his own coach holding him back … I can’t wait to hear KEVIN excuse,” former running back LeSean McCoy shared on social media.

This season, McCoy, from his seat on Emmanuel Acho’s “Speakeasy” podcast, routinely has put on a cape to dash to Sanders’s rescue. Lately, McCoy has offered the opinion that Stefanski, twice named the NFL’s coach of the year, “is scared that if Shedeur goes out there and looks good, he might not look like he knows what he’s doing.”

But McCoy’s Sunday afternoon tweet was one of the nicer opinions, because “KEVIN” got it much worse from the likes of Shannon Sharpe.

“Browns removing Shedeur constantly on goal 2 go situations and going wildcat needs 2 be studied,” Sharpe posted, calling for a football investigation into Stefanski’s fitness as a coach and concluding: “That’s bulljive.”

Stefanski’s overly cute play call didn’t help his case, however the real “bulljive” is that some informed talking heads, who know this NFL business and should know better, would actually assert Stefanski is more intent on humbling Sanders than he is in allowing Sanders to help save his job with the 3-10 Browns.

Besides taking shots at Stefanski, sports folks love aiming at one another. No one asked for this Skip Bayless-Mark Schlereth beef. Thanks to Shedeur, we’ve got one anyway. Also, courtesy of President Donald Trump’s affinity for Deion Sanders, we’ll get more posts from the White House heaping praise on Shedeur.

Also, if we’re lucky, we’ll get another story that’s way too muddled to properly explain in adult circles. That yet another person might also allegedly pretend to be the sister of sports reporter Josina Anderson, and send hate emails and DMs to Cleveland based-journalists, in defense of Shedeur. Only for the reporter to publicize those messages, and for Anderson to publicly call out that reporter. (If you’re lost here, it’s OK. All of it’s too bizarre for us Sanders casuals to understand.)

But Christmas in Cleveland just got more merrier because the quarterback who evokes so much emotion, such weirdness from people, will be the starter for the final four games of the season. Forget what the season song says: Around Lake Erie … Baby, it’s red-hot outside.