How to keep your cool in workplace conflicts
No one looks forward to workplace conflict, yet it happens even in the friendliest workplaces. Disagreements bubble up, personalities clash, and before you know it, you are in the middle of a workplace bubble that makes you wish you could call a timeout.
But unlike on a playground, there is no whistle to blow. You must deal with it, and deal with it well. It’s important because how you manage conflict can make or break your team culture and productivity.
Let’s take a closer look at why workplace conflicts happen and how to oversee them effectively before they derail morale or operations. At its core, conflict resolution is the process of helping two or more parties find a peaceful, productive way to move past a disagreement. The friction might be personal, emotional, or tied to job responsibilities, but whatever the cause, the goal is the same: keep communication flowing and try to find common ground.
The best time to address conflict is before it starts, through clear communication, defined roles, and proactive management. But when sparks do fly, you'll need to step in with a level head and a fair approach to all parties.
Conflicts happen because employees bring unique personalities, expectations, and needs to work every day. When people feel their expectations are unmet or overlooked, tension tends to rise.
Some of the most common sources of workplace conflict include poor management or unclear job roles, inadequate training or communication gaps, unfair workloads, or lack of recognition, bullying, harassment, and toxic behavior, personality clashes or differing leadership styles, and ambiguity in roles and responsibilities.
Sometimes it’s as simple as too strong personalities clashing. Other times, it’s more systemic, led by unrealistic goals, unclear procedures, or unaddressed workplace issues. Whatever the root, the faster you identify it and try to prevent it, the better.
Some good strategies for restoring workplace harmony include finding the origin of the conflict. A good way to do that is to start by gathering information from both sides. Ask neutral, open-ended questions like: When did things start going wrong? What do you think caused this situation? And how do you see the issue being resolved? These questions can help employees step back from the emotion and focus on the facts.
As a leader, you should look beyond the surface. It’s rarely the immediate issues that cause the most significant blow-ups; it is the underlying frustration. A minor miscommunication months ago may have led to resentment. Listen carefully for cues that point to deeper issues and do not let personal attacks distract from the real problem.
It’s also vital to stay calm and avoid escalations. Once tempers flare, common logic tends to leave the room. If either party feels unheard or dismissed, they often will dig in and lash out. Keep things constructive by emphasizing mutual respect and shared goals. Avoid ultimatums, threats, or take-it-or-leave-it solutions, which only intensify the conflict.
Another tool is to encourage both sides to offer resolutions. After hearing both viewpoints, shift from the complaint mode to collaboration. Ask each party what a fair solution looks like to them. Encourage compromise, but ensure the outcome aligns with the company’s policy, culture, and values.
As the mediator, your job isn’t to play referee, it is to listen actively, read body language, and help both parties move from frustration to a problem-solving mode. The more ownership they take in the solution, the more likely it will stick.
While it seems negative in the moment, there is a payoff for good conflict management. Managed correctly, conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing, period. In fact, it can strengthen your workplace by bringing underlying issues to light and helping employees learn how to work through challenges constructively.
When employees feel heard and respected, trust grows. Productivity also improves. You will also see a drop in turnover and, as the business owner, you can get back to leading your team instead of breaking up fights.
Remember, conflict is inevitable, but chaos isn’t. The key is creating an environment where open communication, empathy, and fairness can turn disagreements into new opportunities for growth.
• Steve J. Bernas is president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau and can be reached at sbernas@chicago.bbb.org.