Children’s Health: How parents can help kids cope with new cellphone policies at school

Does your child or teen's school have a new phone policy starting this year? Some schools now ask students to put phones away “bell-to-bell,” from the start of classes through dismissal. Others use locking bags like the Yondr pouch to store phones during the day. Some only allow phones at lunch.

New school phone policies like these and more can mean some adjustments for both students and parents. Parents, especially, have said they feel worried about not being able to easily access their child at school if there's an emergency. These changes will take some getting used to for everyone. Here are some first steps to help your children prepare for these changes.

Without thinking about it, many of us have our phones in our hands or pockets most of the day. Try setting times at home when everyone puts their phones out of reach and does other activities. These breaks from screens help kids of all ages adjust to being without their devices and focus more on what’s happening around them.

Easy times to start going phone-free are during car rides, meals, or time outside. At bedtime, swap the phone for a book, journaling or another bedtime routine. As a parent, you can model this behavior by putting away your devices, too!

One way to help your teen or tween step away from their phones more is by showing them the benefits of phone-free time. Talk about time away from phones as an experiment that everyone will learn from. How does it feel to not have their phone within reach? Do they like the uninterrupted time being alone with their thoughts, or is it uncomfortable at first? How much have they gotten in the habit of following a feed rather than their own creativity? Pay attention to if at-home conversations or homework become easier.

You can also utilize built-in phone settings that most phones and devices have to help manage screen time. Through digital well-being, screen time, or family pairing settings, you can set downtime or do-not-disturb options.

Instead of seeing it as a restriction on your family's screen time, treat it as protecting activities that matter to you, where you want to be fully present. Remind your kids that tech companies don't need (or deserve) to have access to us every waking minute of the day.

Check your phone settings together as a family and view your screen time amount or number of pickups. Are you surprised at how many times you also pick up your phone?

Middle and high school students often say they use their phones to relax or “reset” when school feels overwhelming. As a caregiver, validate the fact that it's normal to feel that way at school sometimes. But also emphasize the importance of problem-solving with other coping strategies like taking deep breaths/using grounding exercises, asking to take a brief walk to get a drink of water, and speaking with a school counselor. Parents and educators can work together to support students who are feeling stressed or overwhelmed by brainstorming plans for when students need to reset.

A major source of phone notifications during kids' school days is — guess what? Parents! Although it's convenient, and you may want to provide emotional support to a stressed child, kids learn how to be independent more easily when they have some space away from their parents each day. Batch your notifications until after school is over or write ideas down on a sticky note to talk about with your child later.

Did you know you can schedule texts to be delivered at specific times in the future? Type a text when convenient for you and select “Send Later” to deliver when convenient for them.

For unexpected issues like needing a pickup change, illness or forgetting homework, use the school office phone line during the school day. Set an expectation that using the phone is fine before and after school. If you're worried about communicating during emergencies, talk to the school and review the emergency communication plan. All schools should have a plan in place.

If your child or teen is getting a new phone, you can do them a favor by making it boring to begin with. This means starting without social media, YouTube, or games. These are the biggest distractions during school hours. You can set up the phone to require your permission for new downloads. This way, the phone is mostly a communication device, not a source of fun, and they won't be as tempted to check it during the school day.

Some parents have expressed concern about phone rebounding, or increased use for extended time periods, after their kids get their phones back at the end of the day. Talk with your children about how it feels to be away from their phone during school hours and how they can still use their phone mindfully while also ensuring tasks that need completed, like homework, are prioritized.

Change is hard, so treat mistakes as a growth opportunity. Take the time to review and discuss your school's phone policy with your child. Go over what the consequences will be if kids violate their school policy, and how you will work together to help your child succeed.

• Children's health is a continuing series. This column was provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. See more at www.healthychildren.org.