The obituary as perspective on the news and what matters

I have been writing this column about newspaper issues for more than 25 years. How does it come to pass that I have never talked about obituaries? Apparently, I needed a more direct personal connection.

For a longtime friend of mine, the obituaries were the first part of the paper she turned to even in her 20s and with likelihood of finding the name of someone she knew almost non-existent. I once asked her the reason.

“I’m interested in what they tell about people’s lives,” she said. “There’s a selfish motive. I want to see what people die of and when they die to give me some perspective on how worried I need to be. But I also just like learning what everyday people’s lives are like. The obituaries are the closest you get to seeing that.”

I have experienced the truth of this latter observation personally in recent months. I wrote the obituary for my father last July; for my mother last week. The stories appeared in the Peoria Journal Star, the newspaper they subscribed to for most of their 73-year marriage. And upon the announcement of their deaths, it was those obituaries that were the one piece of the paper that stood out in clear focus, that commanded the attention of my family and their close friends. The rest of the paper was of course filled with the routine dramas of crime and political argument as well as all the business and entertainment and sports and human interest matter that vie for the public’s attention, but on the dates of those obituaries of our loved ones, all of that other material was an insignificant fog.

And peculiarly irrelevant.

As we read the paper and follow the news, it can seem that what stir our passions and define our lives are the momentous events we follow in the news. What is going on in government? Will my team win the big game? Who will win the Oscar? When will the city fix these potholes? And, to be sure, these and other big questions will always hold a place at the core of our lives.

But they are not questions that often find their way into the life stories we report at the passing of those we love. Those stories are filled with personal accomplishments, career achievements and, especially, family — the loved ones who passed on before and those who survive into the future.

I am reminded of the words of the late Al Larson when asked about his legacy upon his retirement from 44 years as Schaumburg village president and trustee.

“I hope I'm remembered most for my family and my kids,” he said.

It’s that kind of perspective that I think my friend finds in reading obits of people she does not know. The swirling storms of the day’s events certainly affect the directions and the quality of people’s lives. But where do we find what really, really mattered to them while they lived? It is probably not on the front page or the Sports page or even the letters to the editor.

It is in their obituaries.

With the benefit of direct experience, will I now find myself turning first to the obituary page for such insights? I cannot honestly say I will. But I am sure that when I do get to those life stories, I will understand them in a way I never did before.

• Jim Slusher, jslusher@dailyherald.com, is managing editor for opinion at the Daily Herald. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jim.slusher1 and on X at @JimSlusher. His new book “Conversations, community and the role of the local newspaper” is available at eckhartzpress.com.