Taking a little time out for some not-so-magic words

It’s August. It’s hot. There’s rancor everywhere around us. Let’s take a break this week and cool off with something light.

It starts with a letter to the editor, a newspaper staple often fueled with rancor of its own, but also occasionally cooled off with its lighter moments. This one was from a reader confounded by the growing trend to find a word of thanks greeted with the response “no worries.”

I share the reader’s amusement at that phrase. Not necessarily because of the response itself, but more because of the often inappropriate context in which it is used.

For example, when one says “thank you” to a server who has brought his meal to the table in a restaurant, it is not unusual to hear the response, “No worries.” This always creates a little hitch in my brain. Why would I be worried about a person employed to bring me my meal doing so? Though the delivery of my food is a natural expectation, common courtesy seems to call for a polite “thank you,” but has saying so implied some sort of apology for imposing on the server?

“No worries” is, of course, an abridgement of the previously common “don’t worry about it” (interesting aside: the internet tells me it originated in Australia for that purpose) but whichever version is used is inappropriate in the circumstance.

If the server failed to bring me my breadsticks and returned with a polite apology, I could well understand replying with a pleasant “no worries” or “no problem.” But the phrase is a response to an apology, not to a word of gratitude. If I expressed appreciation for some unusually grand gesture — say, “thanks for bringing me a third basket of free chips and salsa” or, in a different setting, “thank you for accepting my return of these too-small shoes without a receipt,” the “no worries-no problem-don’t worry about it” reply would seem perfectly fitting, even gratifying.

Context, in other words, is important.

In fact, there is a rich variety of potential replies to a simple thank you — my pleasure, certainly, don’t sweat it, don’t mention it, glad to help, any time, yep, and more — all of which may have their moment but which can feel demeaning or insincere in certain circumstances. I suppose “of course” is just a hipper way of saying “sure” or “sure thing,” but it more often seems to minimize my thank you, as if my gratitude is a waste of the speaker’s time, whereas the latter phrases suggest simple affirmation.

“Here’s your hamburger, sir”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

It just doesn’t feel right.

(Forgive an only minimal sidetrack, this whole line of thinking reminds me of when I first heard the phrase “my bad” as a means of apology. Not surprisingly, it was in some exchange online, and I’m not ashamed to say it stumped me at first. “My bad what?” I wanted to cry. It didn’t take that long, of course, to make the connection to “my mistake,” and as the phrase has become more ingrained in the language, I’ve even come to kind of appreciate it, though I can never quite escape its somewhat lazy, insincere feel.)

I’m not sure you share my discomfort with phrases like these — or, even more concerning, appreciate my ability to carry on at such length about one of the two little magic words that can open any door with ease. But to the extent you might, I hope you appreciate this moment’s respite from the troubles of the world.

If not, I offer a sincere, “I’m sorry.”

If so, it seems the appropriate close is a polite, “You’re welcome.”

• Jim Slusher, jslusher@dailyherald.com, is managing editor for opinion at the Daily Herald. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jim.slusher1 and on X at @JimSlusher. His book “Conversations, community and the role of the local newspaper” is available at eckhartzpress.com.