Grief & healing: The invention of Valentine’s Week

Valentine's Day has been around a long time. It was already a popular holiday when I was a child.

And it was for children as well as adults. It was a relaxed and happy day with chocolate treats, and little candy hearts with simple messages on them such as “love,” or “forever” or “be mine.” And there might be a heart-shaped cake.

For dating and married couples, it might be a festive night out to a special restaurant. Or just a favorite meal at home.

When Baheej was here still here we always celebrated Valentine’s Day on Feb. 14. I didn’t bake cakes but restaurants and bakeries had them.

My dear Baheej enjoyed Valentine's Day too, and made it a special day for me. So when this annual holiday rolls around, I remember and always miss him intensely. We usually went out to a good local restaurant and had a favorite meal. Low key but enjoyable.

Recently I learned there is something new — called Valentine’s Week. Each day is earmarked and devoted to a specific aspect of love. This year it started on Feb. 7:

Feb. 7: Rose

Feb. 8: Proposal

Feb. 9: Chocolate

Feb. 10: Teddy Bear

Feb. 11: Promise

Feb. 12: Hug

Feb. 13: Kiss

Feb. 14: Valentine's Day

All this sounds sweet, but I’m pretty sure stretching it out seven days is actually about using this simple traditional holiday to make more money, and I don’t like that — overselling, commercialism gone wild.

The point is: I think we are all better off if we try to protect our traditional holidays alone, and keep them simple. This year I think I'll just buy one of those heart-shaped cakes from the grocery bakery, enjoy it at home, and think of happy times.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.