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Arlington Heights woman’s passion for fun — without alcohol — helps others socialize sober

When members of Chicago AF meet to conquer an escape room or get coffee, to go on a “No Booze Cruise” or host a book club, everyone’s reason for living alcohol-free is different.

Some are recovering from addiction. Some never liked alcohol or are trying a “Dry January.” Others ditched the drinks for a healthier life.

Chicago AF, a nonprofit founded by Arlington Heights resident Carrie May, welcomes people living sober for all these purposes and more, with no fees to join.

“It’s just an atmosphere of warmth and welcome. That’s it. No obligations. No nothing,” May said about her group, which helps nondrinkers find others living alcohol-free. “I want them to feel confident in their sobriety and know it’s OK not to drink. It’s actually awesome not to drink.”

Chicago AF isn’t a 12-step sobriety group, and it encourages members who need that support to seek it. Instead, it’s a collection of people who want to have a social life and something to look forward to — without the downsides and addictive tendencies of alcohol.

“I have found that people's lives benefit on every level when they stop drinking or they cut back on their drinking — and they thrive,” said May, 50, an emergency department nurse practitioner who’s also a certified recovery coach. “Your whole lens of the world becomes so much bigger when you have clarity, and you have the ability to think and see and dream — and feel great enough to act on those things.”

Cool experiences’

Since its launch in October 2020, Chicago AF has built a membership of about 1,800 nondrinkers across the suburbs and city. It’s grown to be known as a “quality provider of experiences,” says one member, who’s helped bring an alcohol-free event called OkSOBERfest to Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago for the past two years.

Chicago AF, founded by Arlington Heights resident Carrie May, hosts its third annual NA Day event Jan. 18. The nonprofit also hosts monthly events and excursions for nondrinkers. Courtesy of Kate Scott Photography

“Carrie has done a great job of embedding Chicago AF, not just as a resource for people who are looking to explore nonalcoholic options, but also creating cool experiences,” said Beth Krauss, vice president for marketing and communications at Lincoln Park Zoo.

“It really is a cool group of people. Since I moved to Chicago almost eight years ago now, this is easily the friendliest social scene that I have attempted to join,” added Krauss, who has not drunk alcohol for 10 years.

Filling the “fun niche” of helping adults make friends with other adults — without the assistance of alcohol as liquid confidence — is a passion for May. A self-described “overachiever by nature,” May founded the group about four years into her sobriety because she needed more sober outlets for friendship and fun.

“I could not find any other way to socialize or connect with other adults,” she said. “For me, personally, it was very important to build a life that didn’t involve alcohol.”

Since Chicago AF launched during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, the organization started with weekly support meetings hosted on Zoom. Those continue to this day and have helped members like Kerry Tuttle of Chicago navigate life without alcohol.

“It’s a very open group — open to different experiences,” said Tuttle, who stopped drinking in 2021. “You don’t have to hit a rock bottom to say, ‘This is not serving me anymore. It doesn’t add anything to my life, and it’s time to move on.’”

No alcohol? No problem

As more people joined the Zoom meetings, May gradually expanded Chicago AF to include monthly in-person events and excursions.

Some activities — including the third annual NA Day, scheduled for Jan. 18 at Loft on Lake in Chicago — include a full nonalcoholic bar with options from the widely expanding array of spirits, wines and beers now being crafted without an intoxicating element.

“You don’t want to get dressed up and go out to dinner with your friends, and you’re served Coke in a kids’ glass,” said Tuttle, who helped launch the NA Day events. “I want to cheers with my own version of a cocktail that is going to fit my needs and still make it feel grown-up.”

Mocktails — alcohol-free drinks — are served at some Chicago AF gatherings, like its annual NA Day event. This year’s NA Day is set for Jan. 18. Courtesy of Kate Scott Photography

Nonalcoholic beverage-makers from the local — think Naperville’s Go Brewing — to the national — including the fast-growing Athletic Brewing — have offered tastings at the first two NA Days, which sold out at 200 tickets the first year and 400 the second. Organizers say tickets for this year's event — available at chicagoafcommunity.com/upcoming-events— are selling fast as well.

Support to stop drinking

As fun as it can be for some nondrinkers to emulate a bar atmosphere with mocktails, others want to steer clear from anything that looks or tastes like their old drinking days, May says. So Chicago AF also offers a monthly crafting club, cooking classes, ropes courses or holiday-themed parties.

Continuing to operate the group as it grows helps May in her life after drinking, she said. So does the support of her husband, Jonathan May, and their 17- and 20-year-old kids, who she says “live, eat and breathe sobriety.”

“When I first got sober, I didn’t feel like my story was important. It wasn’t shocking. I didn’t have any trauma. I had this beautiful life with my husband and a job I loved. I just was drinking too much,” May said. “It happened slowly. There was not a reason for it. But then, I could not stop drinking.”

Anyone who wants to stop drinking now can work with a doctor, go to rehab, join a 12-step recovery group or — unlike May when she dropped alcohol — sign on to an online chat or Zoom meeting, or even join the brunch club with Chicago AF.

“I want other people to have a better experience,” she said.

  Carrie May of Arlington Heights founded Chicago AF in 2020, about four years after she stopped drinking alcohol. The group has since grown to include about 1,800 members. John Starks/jstarks@dailyherald.com
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