Beware Chicago sports

Warning: Watching, listening or reading anything as it relates to Chicago (male) sports teams may result in loss of vision, dizziness, hair loss, diarrhea, loss of hearing, disorientation, bloating, skin sores, bird flu, mad cow, lupus, Tourettes, etc.

Should you inadvertently see, hear or read anything related to Chicago’s male sports teams, consult with your doctor and seek a mental health professional immediately.

Sam Karambelas

Lincolnshire