Tips for families to enjoy the winter holidays
The holiday season is a time to make and share delicious food, exchange gifts and enjoy cherished traditions. But for many families, the “happiest time of the year” also means unmanageable stress.
Year-end schedules are often crammed with social events that place extreme demands on our time. We may feel pressured to splurge on gifts and travel even if our budgets are tight or take part in community activities that claim too much of our personal and family energy.
These challenges can be hard to handle, even if you and your kids are in good health. Here are a few suggestions for navigating holiday stress that can help your family feel more balanced and possibly a little more joyful, too.
Keep your calendar manageable (and your explanations simple)
The pressure to celebrate with everyone from your child's soccer team to your work colleagues can make the holidays feel rushed and chaotic. Choose the ones you can reasonably handle and decline the rest without guilt. If you experience pushback, simply say, “That sounds like a great time, but we’ve got something else going on.” Keep in mind that long-distance visits and other travel can be rescheduled, giving the family something to look forward to in the new year.
Prioritize family health
Sticking to family routines can help you cultivate a sense of peace amid the holiday rush. Make time for exercise, healthy meals and plenty of sleep — including naps, especially for little ones.
Pay attention to how much time you and your kids are spending on screens. Replace digital entertainment with simple pleasures, like sipping hot cocoa together or taking a walk in the fresh air. It's also a great time to try new ways to relax, like meditation. Above all, give your family room for self-care, time to slow down or simply “be.”
Watch for signs that kids need extra support
The holiday hubbub can make a child’s mood swings more intense. Toddlers may experience meltdowns as missed naps and sugary snacks push them toward overstimulation. Older children may feel anxious about fitting in and feeling accepted as social media channels explode with images of holiday parties and gift-giving.
Let your child know that you understand, and that you are there if and when they need to talk. Let your kids know you're open to conversations about tough subjects, no matter how busy things get.
If your family recently lost a loved one, keep in mind that the holidays can trigger or deepen grief. Give yourselves permission to rewrite the holiday script. What pleasurable activities do you want to keep — and which ones would you prefer to skip this time around? Making these choices together can form a foundation of healthy mutual support. You can try having your kids write letters about holiday events like dance recitals or orchestra concerts to the deceased friend or family member. They can also write the person a holiday card to help them share their feelings or memories.
Emphasize the simple, positive side of giving
The notion that we need to spend thousands of dollars celebrating the holidays can paint parents and families into an uncomfortable corner. Parents may feel pressure to borrow money or use credit cards for gifts, special outfits, decorations and more. This pattern can backfire as the new year and the overdue bills arrive.
Keep in mind that financial stress is never healthy for your family. Set a positive example for your children by setting a holiday budget and sticking to it. One special gift can be as meaningful as dozens of shiny packages, especially if you make this part of your family's thinking about holiday happiness.
Consider talking with your kids about the deeper meaning of the season. Focus on ways to give that can bring a special kind of joy. You don't need to make big donations to charities or volunteer hundreds of hours to make a difference.
It might mean something as simple as running errands for a neighbor who could use an extra hand or inviting a friend's children over to play so they can finish up holiday chores. Ask your kids for ideas and find ways to pursue them together.
For more information, go to HealthyChildren.org.
• Dr. Alexandra Cvijanovich, MD, FAAP is a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and is a general pediatrician in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Cvijanovich holds a master of education degree and did early intervention prior to attending medical school.