Grief & healing: Halloween is almost here

My neighborhood is all decked out for the scary holiday. One yard is turned into a total graveyard with dozens of headstones and ghosts in the trees and bushes.

Another yard is overrun with dog skeletons. And down the street there’s a yard with one of those gigantic 15-foot human skeletons that have become so popular.

Then there is a lawn decorated with bales of hay and about 50 real pumpkins — they must have brought in a truckload.

Around the corner, there’s a yard filled with inflatable ghosts and witches.

My husband, Baheej, who wrote his dissertation on death denial in our society, was fascinated by these ghoulish traditions.

So I always think of that as Halloween approaches.

And the yard decorations are just the start of Halloween. This week is bound to have many holiday parties. In some areas the kids go to a party instead of going house to house for candy. But in other neighborhoods, there is still plenty of trick-or-treating, and pranks. Teenagers still run around with toilet paper in hand for draping the trees in selected yards.

Actually, these days, it seems there’s a growing number of adults with costumes and their own parties for Halloween.

The grocery store bakeries are full of Halloween cookies and cakes, and two aisles of decorations and candy.

Some cultures have designated days to recognize and honor the departed — the Day of the Dead, and All Souls Day — but those are not parties with cookies and candy.

So the point is: Baheej’s interest in Halloween made me stop and think, what is this holiday all about?

I think the way we celebrate Halloween is, at its core, a way to mask death with fun and silly decorations. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but covering up death is a not a good idea.

In the meantime, it’s time to get out the candy for trick-or-treat!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.