Grief & healing: The many sources of grief

We usually think of grief as a response to the death of a beloved partner, a family member or dear friend.

But there are actually many kinds of losses that can cause grief:

• Loss of a neighborhood. There are lots of reasons one might move or have to move after a death. Even you don’t want to. But actually most get very used to, and attached to, their neighborhood and the neighbors, local shops and restaurants. It’s easy to underestimate the impact of the loss of your neighborhood until you’ve already moved.

• Loss of a job, especially if it wasn’t your choice but it was forced because of something outside your control. A job can be closely tied to one’s identity, which makes not having it complicated.

• Losing the house itself can be devastating if it was where you lived for many years and you were forced to move because of financial reasons.

• The loss of valuable jewelry or a sentimental possession can create a powerful wave of grief. This actually happened to me. A theft.

• Losing contact with friends from local clubs, exercise classes, church groups and other activities that were part of your daily life.

I’m sure there are other losses depending on the situation.

All this is especially difficult if your move is a big one to a different climate, which is another challenge. For instance, I would feel great loss to move away from four seasons.

The point is: There is no loss greater than the death of a beloved or dear relative or friend. But there are many other types of losses that can give rise to grief. And we muster up our energy to manage and cope with them over life’s journey.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.