Forgiveness is better than bitterness
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.”
— Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
Many people won’t forgive because they don’t understand forgiveness. To forgive means you are willing to stop being bitter or holding a grudge over something you can’t change.
To forgive the other person doesn’t always mean they weren’t wrong. Some of the people we forgive may not know they’ve done anything wrong, while others may be sorry for what they’ve done. Still others refuse to believe they have even done anything wrong. But, in any case, forgiveness is needed.
The Bible informs us God is our vindicator, and only he can smooth out our issues. God instructs us to forgive because unforgiveness is unhealthy for us.
When we refuse to forgive, it is spiritually unhealthy because our souls and spirits were not created to be blocked by bitterness, which hinders us from full intimacy with God and others.
It is emotionally unhealthy because it blocks the flow of joy and peace from freely flowing from our hearts and minds. Sometimes it causes disease, because we are constantly under emotional stress our bodies weren’t meant to handle. Stress releases the adrenaline hormone, which, increased on a regular basis, can wear out our organs. I’ve heard it put that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt someone else; the reality is we’re the one that gets toxic and sick.
Forgiving doesn’t mean, we throw caution to the wind and trust, or never bring correction or confront an issue whenever possible. It means, regardless of the situation, we choose to forgive what happened and either go our separate ways or move forward with caution.
When we make a decision to forgive, we ask God to help us with our feelings. We may not feel like doing it, but we are stating that we desire to move in that direction. If our feelings don’t support our choice right away, we can keep turning it over to God until our feelings catch up with our decision.
When a wrong has been done to us, it helps to remember that instead of being bitter, we can become better.
• Annettee Budzban is a Christian author, speaker, life coach and nurse. She can be contacted at annetteebudzban@aol.com or (847) 543-8413.