Grammar Moses: So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night

Stick a fork in me, dear readers. I’m done.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but after a decade of writing this column and four times as long (not four times longer) employed by the Daily Herald, I have decided to hand in my press pass, hang up my spurs and, well, retire.

This is my final column.

Retirement is bittersweet for me. I will miss the amazing people I work with, and I’ll also miss all of you who faithfully read these Sunday scribblings.

I’ve decided that once I hand the keys to the newsroom to my capable successor, I will focus on a different kind of writing ― namely fiction ― something that doesn’t mix well with newspapers. After a few aborted attempts at writing the Great American Novel over the past 20 years, I’m itchin’ to find out whether I finally can complete one.

Without the distractions of overseeing a newsroom, it’s possible. Of course, finding a publisher ― let alone an agent ― is a daunting and painful process, so I’ll probably end up sending whatever I come up with to friends and family members in what could end up as the longest Christmas Letter on record.

I hope you’ve learned a few things during the time you spent with me. I know I have while researching language. I hope I’ve helped the most hard-core traditionalists soften a bit and accept that language changes because people who use it make it change. That’s OK. It’s always better to be able to keep up with the younger people in your life by learning their language than to grouchily resist. I’ll be putting that theory to the test.

Most of all, I hope you’ve had fun. This column has afforded me the ability to work out my various obsessions ― words, music, literature, math, comedy and cheeseburgers (not necessarily in that order) ― while avoiding the prospect of dying on stage at open mic night.

This column has provided me with hundreds of pen pals over the years. It’s been a joy to chat with you and share your probing questions and wit with others who enjoy language. It’s given me ample opportunities to make fun at the expense of relatives and friends.

I appreciate all of the questions and insights you’ve thrown at me over the years. You are what made the column possible, and you are what made it fun.

I won’t be retiring until May 10, so if you’d like to share a proper goodbye before then, you know how to reach me.

I’ll miss you all.

And always remember to write carefully!

#30#

• Jim Baumann is vice president/executive editor of the Daily Herald. You can buy Jim’s book, “Grammar Moses: A humorous guide to grammar and usage,” at grammarmosesthebook.com.