Grief & healing: Downtime after the New Year
All that excitement around the December and New Year holidays may leave a bit of a void as January unfolds in the second week.
At least it does for me.
On the one hand, it’s invigorating to start a new year. But on the other hand it seems a little quiet. A little sad. It may feel like a downtime.
Of course quiet can be nice. And there’s always lots to do — storing away decorations, and returning everything in the house back in order for the regular daily routine. And it’s also a time to try to get a little relaxation. But it may also feel a little empty.
It can seem something like a “no-man’s land” — a sort of buffer between lots of holiday activity and our usual lives. This may be especially so if you’ve had lots of family visiting from out of town, or lots of family gatherings.
Also, the holidays may have been intense because they tend to stir up memories of our beloved or dear friends and family who have died and weren’t here with us. It’s hard to avoid such memories, and I don’t want to anyway. Memories can be very comforting. A sort of counterbalance to the sadness of missing our dear ones.
Therefore, at this time of year, I find it takes some extra effort to get in gear for a successful new year — to get motivated.
Something that helps me with the transition is to stretch out the holiday time, and not make the transition too abrupt, not too quickly.
One year Baheej and I were on sabbatical in Sweden over Christmas and New Year. And we discovered that the holiday season there stretches at least a month from Dec. 13 to Jan. 13. Actually it starts Dec. 1 with decorations and candles everywhere, and pre-Christmas festivities.
Dec. 13 is the St. Lucia celebration, a very nice family-oriented holiday based on a folk legend. It’s a day to reach out to help others such as those in hospitals to include them in the fun.
Jan. 13 is St. Knut’s holiday. It’s the day one “throws the Christmas tree out the door,” the official end of the holiday season. So it’s a long holiday with a slow transition back to work.
The transition helps people get motivated after Christmas and ready to take on the new year. Fully rested and recharged.
Getting motivated is one of my New Year’s resolutions. In reflecting on 2023, I think I was a little low on motivation. It doesn’t always happen naturally.
Since I made a turkey for Christmas and a ham for New Year, I have lots of holiday leftovers. So no need to cook for a while! Leftovers get a bad rap. They can be turned into nice meals.
So the point is: This period of downtime right after New Year’s Day can be very helpful. It gives us a chance to fully absorb all the festivities and emotions of holidays and build up our motivation to approach the new year with more vigor. Seems this week ahead is just what we need. But I do not intend to throw my tree out the front door on Jan. 13!
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.