Holiday sports content you won’t find anywhere else

Without apology to YouTube nor with any endorsement of other internet mind wasters, I searched various posts and uploads for seasonal sports content and found an impressive variety, all appropriate for Christmas and for sports fans of any age.

Unsolved Sports Mysteries—Revealed at last! Petr Mrazek’s’s five hole! Tim Anderson’s attention span! Zack LaVine's pacifier! Both of Novak Djokovic’s faces! The secret hockey society that wants to change the blue line to plaid! Billy Donovan’s other shirt! The next seven of Jed Hoyer’s nine lives! Tells why ex-football players die at age 43 in stolen cars and old baseball players die at age 97 in Apopka, Florida!

Hashtag Baby on Board – A profile of Draymond Green (with special whines from Kevin Durant in the extended version).

The First Base Coach’s Workout – Demonstrates major-league training techniques, such as the one-handed scratch, the crossed-ankle lean, the back-pocket wrist rest and the perpetually exploring finger. Pigeons are optional. (Deluxe edition includes guest slouching by placekickers and relief pitchers).

Bloopers, Blunders, Freebies, Payoffs and Loose Change – Inspects the business model of the International Olympic Committee.

Outdoors with Chips “Salty” Barnowl – Encourages all reluctant nature lovers. Contains maps of the fast-food franchises nearest to every available campsite. Shows how to trick the wife or in-law out of the only air mattress. Includes 100 foolproof excuses to avoid hiking. Gives recipes for roasting backpacks over a burning canoe. And confirms Inspiration Point, Illinois, as the official end of the world.

If That’s a Live Camera, Point it My Way – The story of Stephen A. Smith’s life. Special appearances by Skip Bayless and Colin Cowherd.

The Secrets to Successful Sports Medicine – Extensively researched instructions on how to wrap your own ankles. When to play hurt. Which organs are essential to life. Where to hide drug-free specimens for the team physical. Pronunciation guide to all the most popular performance enhancers. And a shocking look at what really happens inside that blue sideline tent.

Marathon Runners, X-Gamers and Triathletes are Slackers – Chronicles the most tiring and tedious survival competition ever conceived, managing the Chicago White Sox for Jerry Reinsdorf.

Great Green Bay Packer Sportsmen – The site is under construction.

The Weekend Bowlers Diet – Shows how to look good in rental shoes and shirts that refuse to stay tucked in while not losing track of the beer frame. Not to be confused with the Ain’t I Proud to Be Me Diet, which turns a scowling, round mound of rebound NBA icon into a TV talk show mannequin.

Sports Classics: Dogs on the Field – The long, detailed history of every third baseman who has ever played for the Chicago Cubs.

Finally Final Farewell Tours – Roger Federer, Tom Brady, Serena Williams, Megan Rapinoe, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods and the Pac-12 compare goodbye gifts without discovering any practical use for the toaster oven.

Les Miserables – The Chicago Bears’ fourth-quarter offense.

Legends of the Game – Photoshopped editing of sports heroes of one era into another era so that we can see what happens when Shohei Ohtani pitches to John McEnroe, Secretariat races against the Kelce brothers, Connor Murphy bodychecks Chris Evert, Jose Altuve tackles Cookie Gilchrist and Lexi Thompson runs through the Stanford Band. Spoiler alert: they haven’t worked out all the bugs yet, but it is worth checking out just to see Patrick Mahomes drowned by Johnny Weissmuller.

Roscoe, a Gerbil – The only Baltimore Raven never arrested.

The Bayonne Bleeder Meets The Pazmanian Devil – A tribute to boxers who had no other talent for the ring except a great nickname. Starring Butterbean Esche, Bonecrusher Smith and Sweet Pea Whitaker, with special cameos by MMA slugs Chan Sung “The Korean Zombie” Jung and Rick “The Ginger with the Intent to Injure” Pfeifer.

Companion site, The Late, Great Fireball Roberts and How he Got His Name – A history of stock car racing.

Harder to Find Than a Non-Judgmental Dentist – Hidden somewhere in America is a modest, drug-free, grateful, agentless, endorsement shunning, polite, church going, tidy, fan-appreciative athlete, who plays the game for the love of competition and to make his momma proud. Sports show magpies argue with each other rather than look for him.