Start making a plan for the holidays

I always plan for holidays, even if I will be alone.

And many of us who live far from family have had lots of practice figuring out what to do alone on a major holiday.

Of course, during the COVID pandemic most did not travel. But even now, there are lots of circumstances that leave people on their own at holiday time.

As children grow up and move away for study and jobs, it's common for family members to live far apart, and they can't always get together for a celebration.

So, obviously, I am starting to think about Thanksgiving. In years past, I always cooked a big Thanksgiving here for family and friends. And even after my beloved Baheej died, I used to cook a big turkey with all the trimmings and invite a friend or two to a big holiday meal.

But, in recent years, my motivation to cook that big Thanksgiving meal has abandoned me. However, I still don't want to ignore the holiday altogether. So what to do?

Actually, there are options:

• One year I went out to Thanksgiving Day dinner with a friend. We went to a local restaurant, which was packed with families - multigenerational groups. That was fun, for the most part. One group near us seemed happy and festive. They even had a whole turkey on their table, a traditional meal served family style.

But another table of eight looked tense and not so fun. Movies have been made about the potential for family conflict at Thanksgiving dinner.

I had an excellent turkey dinner, but my friend ordered a hamburger, so not very festive.

• Another option is that many grocery stores and some restaurants roast turkeys "to go" or "pick up," so one can order a whole dinner, including the sides and pumpkin pie, and take it home to serve. Easy, but possibly expensive. And I don't need a whole turkey this year.

• Or one could bake a small turkey at home, if you could find a small turkey. They're hard to find. Some people bake a turkey breast, but I personally prefer the dark meat. Delis sell sides to make preparation easier. But this all takes more motivation than going out.

• Go out to a local restaurant alone. Some are open on Thanksgiving Day, so that's an option if you are accustomed to going to restaurants alone. I am, so that's a real possibility. You get in on some of the festivity without having to cook at home.

• One year, my sister-in-law baked Cornish hens for herself and her husband. Not everyone really likes turkey anyway. And that worked for just the two of them.

Well, what to do this year?

The point is: We have choices. As for me, I think this year going to a local restaurant for a traditional turkey dinner will be my choice. Maximum flexibility, minimal work, but still festive. I really don't know of anyone else who's on their own this Thanksgiving, but that's OK. I'll make a reservation when it gets a bit closer.

And I won't have all those turkey leftovers. I'm sure they'll even have pumpkin pie!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.