An open letter to Shohei Ohtani

Dear Mr. Ohtani: I would like it very much if you could move to Chicago and play for the Cubs. When you play baseball it makes me happy; I tell everyone "Shohei is the best, you must see him play."

I know you are comfortable and well situated in your present setting. I also know that you cherish quality and purpose in life over obscene wealth or infinite video games. I cannot promise constant winning in Chicago, but I can promise you will not have fans showing up in the third inning or leaving after the 7th inning stretch. Never ever. Guaranteed.

Wrigley Field. This is the main selling point. You would play half your games on historic and hallowed ground, in a living breathing baseball museum. Priceless.

Chicagoans do these things better than any other American city: fine dining, golf, beer, driving, swearing, baby back ribs, napping, architecture and parades. And the thin crust pizza is the best in the USA. Chicago has some of the best sushi joints anywhere, too.

I will wax your car, cut your lawn, walk your dog and unclog your drains - all with considerable honor and respect. I can oil your glove, shag fly balls, load the pitching machine, and make your energy drinks. If you do come to Chicago, we could go to a White Sox game together on your off day, or the zoo or the symphony. After, we could ride our bikes along the lakefront and then get some ice cream, OK? Let me know.

In closing, I hope you play great every day no matter where. But, if you do not come to Chicago, could you please not play for St. Louis? Ever.

Patrick Pluth

Arlington Heights