Conversations shared and signs received from a dear one
Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the great French author, referred to "ami mort," dead friend. He believed the spirit of a dear friend abides with us and is a very potent presence. I agree with him, and I know there are others out there who would also.
As many know, the belief that the spirit of a loved one remains on earth and near us for 40 days after death, is deeply rooted in Christianity. This is why the 40th day memorial service in the Orthodox church on the Sunday nearest the 40 days after. And the Holy Spirit is present also.
I am sure this spirit being around us applies to my beloved Baheej, who was also my best friend. This belief in spirit also applies to other dear ones, whether a partner, child, best friend or other deeply loved person who died.
In my experience, this presence of the spirit leads to very reassuring conversations with the one who died. These conversations are helpful because they are comforting. Yes, conversations with the dead, with their spirit. There is some research on this, and I think it's pretty common based on what I've learned from friends and readers, and my own experience. Often these are not just thoughts in the mind, but words said out loud, in private.
Communication experts remind us that communication relies on listening and a two-way exchange. Now how does that come about. How can this be two-way? Well, the main answer is found in "signs."
Reportedly, the most common signs are as follows:
• Dream visitations.
• Familiar sensations and smells.
• Animal messages. These could come in many forms such as sighting a very unusual animal or one rarely seen, huge flocks of birds swarming nearby, a wild animal showing great interest in you, a butterfly on your shoulder. Or a house cat or dog barking or meowing loudly, running about, and then staring off in space.
• Pennies or dimes just appearing around the house. Not ones you dropped.
• Lost and found objects. Not just misplaced, such as your keys, but something valued and really lost that oddly reappears, maybe after a long time or in an odd place.
• Electrical disturbances. Not thunderstorms or ice storms, but ones hard to explain, out of the blue.
This list of signs is from an article entitled "Finding Dimes? Could be a Sign from a Loved One," by Jamie McLeod, Nov. 11, 2022, published in "The Farmers Almanac." So this belief is pretty mainstream! Very interesting.
The point is: Even grief counseling experts and medical advisers assure us that it is perfectly normal to talk to our loved ones who have died. It seems we can get answers if we are open to noticing the signs. And I would only add that, in my experience, it is comforting and consoling.
When I ask my beloved Baheej for advice, I often remember what he would say in the situation, and that is also very helpful. The more I have these conversations, the more likely a feel a response.
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.