How to be a good hospital roommate

Hospitals are packed right now, with flu and RSV patients in addition to COVID patients. If you've been admitted from the emergency room, you may have had to spend the night there because there was no "room at the inn" upstairs in the patient rooms.

And if you're lucky enough to get a room, guess what! You might have a roommate.

Sharing a hospital room is nothing new in the history of medicine. In fact, wards with multiple beds were common until the early 1950s. Now, hospital rooms with only one occupant have become the gold standard in new hospital construction.

The No. 1 reason for private rooms is to reduce the spread of disease. Every year, approximately 100,000 people die as a result of hospital-acquired infections. That said, the research into whether patients in semiprivate rooms acquire more infections than those in single rooms is inconclusive.

There's also a question of privacy, because "semiprivate" doesn't mean 50% private. It means zero percent private. If a patient thinks a roommate can overhear what they're saying, they may be less likely to share critical information with the medical staff.

Hospitals find that multi-bed rooms can be more efficiently staffed, but they may end up with a HIPAA violation because of breaches in privacy.

I've seen some anecdotal evidence that shared hospital rooms can be a net positive. For example, a roommate can summon help if a patient has a sudden medical issue. This patient says a shared hospital room may have saved lives:

"On two different occasions, in two different hospitals, I was sharing a surgical recovery hospital room and was able to alert the nursing staff during the night about serious adverse events happening to my roommate for which he was unable to call (or realize his situation) and which required immediate attention."

Most hospital rooms these days are single-occupancy, but they're still set up to handle two beds if the need arises. If you find yourself with a hospital roommate, make your stay a bit more pleasant by following some hospital-room etiquette.

1.) People are in the hospital usually for one basic reason: to recover from something, whether it's illness or surgery. That requires rest. Be considerate of your roommate by limiting visitors and, when you do have visitors, keep your conversations quiet or move them to a lounge down the hall if you're able.

2.) Corollary to No. 1: Remind your visitors to wash their hands in a washroom down the hall before coming in, put on a mask and tell them not to use the bathroom in the hospital room. Also, they shouldn't touch anything.

3.) Everyone has a cellphone these days, but younger people tend to use them a lot more. Be mindful of how long and how loudly you're talking, and don't be yakking away while your roommate is trying to sleep. Maybe turn off the ringer and notifications, too.

4.) Even if you're an outgoing social butterfly, dial it back in the hospital room. Your roommate doesn't need to hear your life story and may not feel like answering a lot of questions. Keep your interactions brief and pleasant. You may find yourselves becoming friendly, but don't feel you have to keep up a conversation.

5.) A corollary to No. 4 is that your roommate's illness or injury is none of your business.

6.) Some hospitals have two TV sets in a room, but if there's only one you'll have to negotiate when and what to watch. Here's a story from a patient:

"She kept the TV off, but kindly asked one morning if I liked to watch morning news shows. We agreed on a show to watch. Later, she would give me the remote after she had had it for a spell. I could have hugged her."

And though the TV speaker is at your bedside, keep the volume turned low.

7.) Corollary to No. 6: If you have a laptop, make things easier on everyone by watching TV and movies on that, wearing headphones of course.

8.) Bring a quiet activity if possible - like you would for a child on an airplane flight. If you're feeling up to it, a hospital stay is a good time to catch up on reading, knitting, cross-stitch, etc.

If you find life with your roommate unbearable because they're not following the same rules as you, don't suffer in silence. Ask to speak to the nurse supervisor or hospital patient advocate - they don't want your recovery disrupted either.

And remember: Eventually you'll go home and never have to see that roommate again.

• Teri Dreher is a board-certified patient advocate. A critical care nurse for 30+ years, she is founder of NShore Patient Advocates (www.NorthShoreRN.com). She is offering a free phone consultation to Daily Herald readers; call her at (847) 612-6684.