Grammar Moses: Three different columns in one, and none of them very good
Sports columnist/word wizard Jim O'Donnell passed along to me a Washington Post column by Random House copy chief Benjamin Dreyer on what I'll call poofy words. I found it most interesting.
In it Dreyer writes about his relentless search-and-destroy mission for the word "very," which is often very unnecessary - just as my use of it in this sentence was.
He also might criticize my use of "most" to describe his column as interesting. It wasn't the most interesting column I've ever read, but "interesting" by itself felt like I'd shortchanged it.
Toward the end of the column he refers to the overuse of "different," and that is where my column begins.
If I hear another report about X different countries coming to the defense of Ukraine or that someone speaks Y different languages, I might hurl a pillow at whatever electronic device is spewing such nonsense at me.
Of course every language is different from every other language. Even within the confines of English, there are significant differences between how we and our friends across the Atlantic employ it. This explains why my wife demands we use closed captioning when enjoying a BBC series. I enjoy the challenge of watching without that safety net.
"Different" is effective when comparing two things, not seven. "Kyle left the dance with a different date from the one he brought."
When you're describing a list, you're safe to eliminate "different."
If you're Kyle, you'll never be safe again.
Mr. Science
Some people like to talk on the phone to catch up. Some exchange pleasantries on Facebook. Some share nudes on Snapchat.
At my age, the third would be consider aggravated assault.
Bob Holloway, a science teacher at Dundee-Crown High School in Carpentersville whom our little group has called "Mr. Science" since high school, keeps in touch with me largely by our sharing of daily Wordle results.
Last week, I got IONIC in four tries. Along with my hidden-letter grid, I texted him, "You, of all people, should get this."
His response, after posting his answer, was: "It is ironic that you got 'ionic' before me, while I got 'irony' first."
"I see what you did there," I retorted, snapping my fingers like a beatnik in appreciation. He concluded with "I thought I'd get a reaction."
Nothing like a good science joke to make my day.
Mea culpa
"I'm probably the 57th person to point out that the last part of yesterday's Grammar Moses column had a grammatical error," Leah Goodman wrote. "Perhaps it was a joke?"
Would that it were, Leah. I just lost count.
I suggested that a reader continue to say something the way he was taught if he feels it's still important. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't stop fighting the good fight" was how I tried to convey that.
Leah pointed out that if I'd removed one of the abbreviate "nots" in my sentence, I wouldn't have tied myself in knots.
Write carefully!
• Jim Baumann is vice president/executive editor of the Daily Herald. You can buy Jim's book, "Grammar Moses: A humorous guide to grammar and usage," at grammarmosesthebook.com. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com and put "Grammar Moses" in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.