Jim O'Donnell: La Russa non-speak could be the basis for a great TV game show

THE WHITE SOX ARE NO LONGER just the American League-Central's answer to "Ice Road Truckers."

They are a rollicking, rolling comedy show.

Maybe the funniest local improv since Bernie Sahlins had goslings like John Belushi, Tino Insana and Bill Murray in house at Second City way back in the early 1970s.

Perhaps Jerry Reinsdorf wants it this way.

Theatrical pratfalls ... absurdism ... commedia dell'arte of baseball's first order.

(See defensive ace Adam Engel chase down a potential game-ending fly ball in Baltimore.)

Kerplatt!

See how they lose.

STAR OF THE SHOW, of course, is "The Sleepy Senor" himself, the carbon-dated Tony La Russa.

Since La Russa is not going to win AL Manager of the Year, maybe he should be up for a Tony Award.

Night after night, day by day, he lumbers through games and sprinkles short, nonstick banalities before and after.

He speaks as if he is detached from the fray. As if he's a paid observer and not the key operative accountable for the Sox's inability to sustain fire, focus and fury.

LA RUSSA IS SO NIMBLE at non-speak. It's a shame that he can't transfer that minimalist knack and comment about things like current events or the Sicilian-Spanish cooking he grew up on back home in Tampa..

What a great game show - "What Would The Sleepy Senor Say?"

Pick an event and try to stitch La Russa's terse Teflon perspectives around it.

PILOT SHOW SAMPLES:

• The Declaration of Independence (1776) - "Expansion teams generally have it rough for a few years. Then you see what happens."

• The Gettysburg Address (1863) - "Nobody likes to lose. But as long as you're playing to win, you can live with yourself."

• Black Thursday/Great Depression (1929) - "People who anticipate the worst usually get it. They've got to work to avoid it."

• The USSR gets first run into space with the launching of Sputnik (1957) - "Sometimes you've got to play from behind. If you can't play from behind, you're not going to win."

• Resignation of Richard Nixon (1974) - "Bad breaks can mount up. But you've got to be able to play through 'em."

• Berlin Wall comes down (1989) - "The other guys may have problems too. No one clubhouse has all the problems."

• 2022 White Sox wallow out of the gate and drift into AL-Central oblivion - "You can only manage so much and then they have to go out and do it. Because ... beca' ... zzzzzzz."

ALL OF WHICH MIGHT PROMPT the clearly tethered Ozzie Guillen to tell his NBCSCH audience:

"I think, ah, given a second chance, Tony would, ah, do some things different.

"But I can't, ah, speak for him. He and Jerry probably must know things I don't."

Doubt it.

***

THE BLACKHAWKS HAVE CONFIRMED their new TV talent order.

The unveiling drew less interest than a Jeremy Colliton memorabilia show.

The nonpareil Eddie Olczyk has already told the franchise to stick it.

The "voluntary retirement" of Pat Foley still seems about as genuine as an "independent investigation" on West Madison Street.

Patrick Sharp and Troy Murray will try to fill Olczyk's slot. As announced in April, young Chris Vosters will sit in Foley's chair.

"We wanted to be super thoughtful," team biz whiz Jaime Faukner told more compliant media.

Really "super thoughtful" would mean that the Wirtz family sells.

But in The Captive City, think that's going to happen?

***

STREET-BEATIN':

The passing of all-time Chiefs QB great Len Dawson - age 87 - reminds that it was 55 years ago this week he and KC beat the Bears, 66-24, in a Wednesday night "exhibition" game. Hank Stram called a timeout with less than a minute left to score a final TD; he and his AFLers was still smarting from a 35-10 thrashing by Green Bay in the Super Bowl I seven months before. ...

Speaking of thrashing, die-hard White Sox fans had to go through a whole lot of rigmarole to pay the $4.99 to Peacock and access last Sunday morning's telecast from Cleveland. And then Dylan Cease and the Slouch Sliders got rained out. ...

Kevin Matthews - the father of all-time Chicago radio classic Jim Shorts - is at St. Pat's Church on Crane Road in St. Charles Wednesday night to talk about his life, his spiritual resilience and his book "Broken Mary." (Full info at stpatrickparish.org.) ...

No word on whether Churchill Downs Inc. got the full 70 cents it was asking for a set of used crutches found in the catacombs of Arlington Park. (An unconfirmed report that Bunker Bill Carstanjen was hoping the sticks got bid up to $1.) ...

And Charles Barkley, on the saga of sulky Kevin Durant and his wavering allegiance to the Nets: "I call him 'Mr. Miserable.'

• Jim O'Donnell's Sports and Media column appears Thursday and Sunday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com.