My friend requested a real party celebration, and she got one
I was invited to a party. When I arrived, we were greeted by a very cute "drinks truck" in the driveway - unique idea - serving prosecco and many other choices.
It was a sparkling and authentic little Italian truck transformed into a traveling tailgate serving station. Food, coffee and soft drinks served inside where the party was underway. A festive welcome.
Most have heard about a "celebration of life" held for a loved one who died. This usually means a memorial gathering of some kind, instead of a traditional funeral. Or it could be a group dinner with friends and family, instead of or after the actual funeral. Usually it's a memorial gathering with loving speeches and stories, prayers and sometimes a eulogy and favorite hymns. I love "Amazing Grace" and "Angel" (aka "In the Arms of an Angel") by Sarah McLachlan.
But my friend Diane's wish was for an actual festive dinner or party. Not a funeral, not traditional memorial. She was very explicit and adamant about this, even though she had a beautiful church memorial for her beloved husband, Andy. She didn't want a traditional religious service for herself, although she certainly did live a true Christian life in her relationships with everyone.
So Diane's children, my friends, her daughter Jolie, and son Yuri, planned and gave an amazing party in Diane's honor on June 4 in Diane's home. It was beautiful and extravagant, a real celebration party. They called it an open house. It certainly was a celebration of her life - a real celebration.
Oh my, the food was so beautiful, gourmet. Surprising in its variety and ingredients - delicious. All finger food, two large tables with trays and trays of very special delicacies. No speeches.
Lots of people - friends and colleagues from many phases of her career over 50 years - milled about and chatted with others they may not have seen for a while. Yes, a party. Just having a good time, exactly what Diane wanted.
Diane was a history teacher. She taught for 50 years - in the Barrington school system for 40 years and another 10 in college after "retirement." She loved teaching and her children, her students and her community. She published two wonderful books about the families and history of Barrington and seven textbooks. She deserved her party and she got it. Bravo.
On the way out, I took photos of the cute drinks truck and her pretty house and yard.
There were lots of blooming purple garden flowers and the whole party was decorated in purple. Purple was her favorite color.
Since then there's been a big and successful estate sale, and the house is on the market. It will go fast. All very difficult, but so it is …
The point is: This was not only a happy party and celebration, but a great reminder that we need to respect the wishes of our dear ones, and especially in terms of final wishes. As for me, my family knows, just be sure to get me up to New Hampshire by my beloved Baheej, and take care of my kitties. And it's all a reminder that our children and siblings should know our wishes, so they can help, by understanding what is wanted.
This may sound grim but it's not - it's very important, no matter at what age.
Now let's look ahead to the beautiful summer. There's much more to enjoy.
• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.