Grammar Moses: What does it mean to be 18?

If you were looking for a little levity today, you should probably turn to the Comics section. After the week we've had, my funny bone has gone numb.

Let's see if I can still deliver some knowledge or clear up some questions for you anyway.

Bob Kopp hadn't written to me in many moons, so he saved up like a squirrel with a cheekful of acorns. I'll try answer one of his four questions:

"When is an 18-year-old a teen or when is he a man? I've observed any number of articles describing individuals as either a teen or a man when the person's age is 18. Is there a policy or is it simply at the writers discretion?"

Whether we refer to an 18-year-old as a teen or man has a lot to do with what kind of story it is. If the 18-year-old is charged with a crime, we'll probably refer to him as a man at some point because of the legal implications of being an 18-year-old.

One day you're a 17, doing crimes with only a youth prison and your parents' eternal scorn to worry about, and the next, on your 18th birthday, you're looking at hard time with the big boys. (The exception being if you're a juvenile committing serious felonies for which you could be tried as an adult.)

It's like graduating from middle school, if my cynical memory of that difficult time is an accurate gauge, and heading to high school.

If our story were about an 18-year-old discovering a method for converting single-use plastics into clean energy, we'd probably refer to the person as a teen to amplify the irony of what I will always consider a kid figuring out the win-win solution of our time.

Eighteen, as Alice Cooper taught us, is an awkward time for anyone.

I'm in the middle, without any plans

I'm a boy and I'm a man

I'm Eighteen

And I don't know what I want

You might also wonder why we refer to a minor by his/her/their first name in second reference in a story. Unless it's a crime story, referring to 9-year-old Bobby Hasenpfeffer as "Hasenpfeffer" in second reference feels awkwardly formal, wouldn't you agree?

Word nerds

In response to my recent reader participation question about what you would call someone who is both a word nerd and computer nerd, Bill McLean came up with "biblio-byte" or "modem-verbum."

Jon Womack came up with "scriptechie."

From the peanut gallery

"In downtown La Grange there is a storefront with large letters proclaiming 'Get In Shape for Women.' Only one in my family had the correct first thought that it was a fitness center catering to a female clientele. The rest of us wondered first why such business would be allowed in a classy business district, though we weren't sure whether it was a fitness center with another emphasis or a Viagra mill."

- David Harding

"We all know about phrases that are oxymorons, such as 'instant classic,' but what about single words that are oxymorons? So far I have found only four oxymoron words in the English language. These are:

• Phonetic: It's not spelled the way it sounds.

• Monosyllabic: It has more than one syllable.

• Palindrome: It's not the same spelled backward.

• Verb: This is a noun, the name of a word that indications action.

Certainly there must be more. Can you help?

- Bill Davis

"But for a flurry of 'buts' near the end of Sunday's article, it was enjoyable reading."

- Don Hattendorf

"If I walk down memory lane while I'm jogging my memory, can I still run the gamut?"

- Jon Womack

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/executive editor of the Daily Herald. You can buy Jim's book, "Grammar Moses: A humorous guide to grammar and usage," at grammarmoses thebook.com. Write him at

jbaumann@dailyherald.com and put "Grammar Moses" in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.