Buy Nothing groups bring back community and connection among neighbors

Around Thanksgiving, I decided to finally take inventory of all the unused toys our kids had accumulated in our basement. I listed most of them for sale on Facebook marketplace and, to my delight, ended up with a good chunk of change to buy new things for the kids for Christmas.

Occasionally, I listed items for free as well, just to make space and get them out of the house. Everything went by porch pick-up and I left a mug on the porch for people to put their money in. On three different occasions, people put more money in the mug than what was asked.

It was a genuinely nice gesture just in time for the holidays. I realized that it had been a while since I'd felt any real sense of community with COVID keeping everyone trapped inside. It was nice to interact with strangers, even if only through a window and online chat. I started to give more things away for free and people were overjoyed. It was such a nice feeling.

Between Christmas and New Year's, I stumbled upon something called the Buy Nothing Project and my curiosity was peaked.

I learned that the Buy Nothing Project came about in 2013 as a sort of social experiment whereby neighbors of a small town or area simply give, ask or express gratitude.

Buy Nothing groups exist around the globe and are referred to as "hyper local gifting economies".

After a quick Google search, I learned that my local community didn't have an active group, so I found the information on how to start one up. This seemed to be the perfect way to keep the spirit of giving and the sense of community I had experienced through the holidays going the whole year long.

A few days later, the Buy Nothing St. Charles group was up and running.

Seven weeks later, the group has grown to 600 members and every single day, I've had the privilege to witness overwhelming generosity among neighbors.

The Buy Nothing project is much less about "stuff" and much more about people.

Through this group, I've seen incredible kindness day after day.

The group itself doesn't function like a typical marketplace or freebie site. It is not a "first-come, first-served" universe, but rather one where a gift's recipient is chosen in a more personal or random way. Members are encouraged to let their gifts "simmer" so that everyone who is interested in an item has a meaningful opportunity to actually receive.

This means that people who work nights or odd hours can still catch up and get in on the fun. This means that the person giving can take stock in who is interested, their reason for wanting the gift and choose accordingly. Some people draw names from a hat. Others use random choice websites.

Either way, everyone is having fun and most people enjoy both giving and receiving within the group.

The magic of the group is that neighbors begin to see neighbors again. Instead of racing to Amazon or the grocery store for every little need, members can reach out on the group and ask for what they want.

A majority of the time, someone, if not many people, have what is sought.

Many people have taken the opportunity to purge their homes of all the items they no longer need and others are enjoying new treasures they might have otherwise bought.

Many kind members are even willing to drop off gifts while out running errands.

A child therapist starting a new business was able to outfit an entire room with all of the essentials for the kids.

Another member received a music box that played her late mother's favorite song.

A bride-to-be received a crystal tierra to wear on her wedding day. A mother received a portable DVD player for her child with Down's syndrome to watch all her favorite reruns of "I Love Lucy."

A young professional scored a dress to wear for an interview from a neighbor who lived just a few doors down, but whom she'd never met. These are just some of the examples of the kinds of connections taking place everyday within the group.

The most valuable part of the experience, though, is the gratitude within the community at a time when people are mostly inside their homes without much interaction.

During these cold winter months and unprecedented times, Buy Nothing groups provide the breath of fresh air and touch of human kindness that we all need.

To find your local Buy Nothing group, visit buynothingproject.org/find-a-group/#IL.

To start a local Buy Nothing group, visit buynothingproject.org/start-a-group/.