Swastika in Arlington Heights: A rabbi responds

Like you, I was shocked to learn that someone scrawled a swastika on a building in our community. As a rabbi at the Chabad Jewish Center of Arlington Heights, with three grandparents who survived the Nazi atrocities of the Holocaust, I was touched deeply by this occurrence.

However, instead of asking "who did this?" I prefer to ask "why was this done?" and "what should I do about it?" I would begin by sharing some wise thoughts I heard from my brother-in-law, Rabbi Avi Richler, after a similar event in his New Jersey community.

Choose Words Wisely

As a society, we have cheapened symbols and labels of hate. People throw terms like "Nazi" towards anyone with whom they have a difference of opinion. Before you call someone a Nazi, Communist etc., read about who the Nazis were and what life was (and is) like under Communist dictatorships. I'd be happy to share the stories I heard firsthand from my grandparents. By applying these labels indiscriminately, we have softened and cheapened them to the point that a misguided (young) person may scrawl it on a wall without appreciating what it even means.

MRI scans demonstrate that a single negative word can increase the activity in the amygdala, the fear center of the brain. Let's use them sparingly--if at all. The leader of post-Holocaust Jewry-the Rebbe of righteous memory-was a shining example of this principle, avoiding negative speech in a wide range of scenarios. For example, someone once approached him and began to bemoan his spiritual state of being. The Rebbe said, "Just as it's forbidden to speak disparagingly about someone else, even if one speaks the absolute truth, it's also forbidden to speak negatively about oneself."

One word we can all use much less is "hate." You may have unthinkingly used the word about a dish you don't particularly like, a difficult coworker, or your boss. When a child hears their parent using such a word, they learn it's OK to hate. Once we allow ourselves to hate, symbols of hate are not far off. Healthy disagreement is just that: healthy. But we must not conflate issues and people. Seeing things differently, worshipping differently, or voting differently do not make people bad or hateful. We can disagree without rejecting! Let's convey that message to our children.

Stand Up for Truth

Even as hatemongers peddle fear, we must not allow them to drag us down or make us afraid. Rather, we must look it in the eye and rise above it.

In the age of social media echo chambers and fake news, it is so easy for people to be misinformed. Sometimes we take our knowledge for granted and assume that our children know what we do. We must actively teach them what we know to be true, right, and good.

As Jews, we need to instill in our children a strong Jewish pride and identity, with an understanding of who they are and what they stand for. By focusing on a positive and enriching Jewish education, we can ensure that our children will be proud of their identity and be empowered to stand up for themselves.

Be a Light

The Jewish holiday of Chanukah is around the corner. During this holiday, we place a menorah in our doorways or windows, adding another light each night.

On the first night, there is one small candle. On the following night, there are two. Each flame brings another in its wake, until the darkness itself shines. We may feel darkness engulf us, but when we stand tall and proud, as Jews and as Americans, serving as a beacon of light and positivity, more lights will begin to shine all around us. If enough of us project light and create change within ourselves, then there will be no room for darkness in our community.

Be a light. Go out of your way to genuinely compliment, thank, appreciate, congratulate, and assist. Do it to your children, spouse, coworkers, public servants, siblings, parents, neighbors and most importantly, strangers.

Seek out the best in people rather than their flaws, and that is what will come to the fore.

• Rabbi Yaakov Kotlarsky, rabbi@chabadah.org, serves as director of the Chabad Jewish Center of Arlington Heights.