Relationships have friction from time to time

" ... You stone the messengers God has sent you. How many times I have wanted to put my arms around your people, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you wouldn't let me!"

- Matthew 23:37

My best friend of 40 years and I occasionally disagree. You might think having things in common is what causes you to be friends. Although this is true, no two people are exactly alike. From time to time, there's bound to be a little friction.

Over the years, we have disagreed on medical issues, spiritual issues, relational issues and how to run our natural childbirth business we once shared for 18 years. The key to our lasting success is we learned not to take our disagreements personally. When neither would budge, one or the other of us said, "Let's agree to disagree."

This appears to be something people don't know how to do. Just read the posts. It's all or nothing. If you don't agree with me, it means you don't like me or I don't like you. If we disagree, the other person must be our enemy or an idiot.

We are desperate to get our point across and convey an idea or win our argument, but how do we expect to win over someone else with such belittling comments? It's the fastest way to turn someone completely off to our ideas.

My wise mother used to say, "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar."

Somewhere along the line, our society has turned to anger and negativity as a way to win over another rather than God's ways of love and respect.

And the worst thing about this behavior is we don't realize it is a reflection on us as an individual. When we use angry, belittling language, it just shows our own ignorance and insecurity issues.

No one is ever completely right. And, occasionally, there are times to separate because our differences are too great and not in our best interest or that of others.

However, to keep our feelings from being hurt or our blood pressure from reaching a boiling point, we need to view this as a difference of opinion rather than an ongoing battle.

Disagreement comes for many reasons. Sometimes we think we are right, only to discover at a later time we were wrong.

In other instances, we are right. The other person just doesn't have the insights, experiences or enlightenment we do. It may take them some time to get there, if ever.

When this is the case, we may feel bad they don't value our opinion. It makes us feel disrespected. We need to understand it's their loss.

Jesus modeled how he felt when others didn't listen. He felt sad for them. Like a mother hen, He wanted to take them under His leadership and help them, but they didn't want His wise advice.

When others disagree, we can respect their choice. We can place our bad feelings aside and understand this is where they are for now.

In this day and age of wanting to make friends and influence people, some love and respect goes a long way.

• Annettee Budzban is a Christian author, speaker, life coach and nurse. She can be contacted at annetteebudzban.com or (847) 543-8413.