Annual baby-remembrance ceremony goes online at Arlington Heights hospital

Northwest Community Healthcare refused to let COVID-19 pandemic precautions prevent it from helping parents grieve the loss of infants. It conducted its annual ceremony Saturday, including the release of butterflies, on Facebook Live.

At least 100 people watched as Jill Kottmeier, the coordinator of the hospital's perinatal palliative care program, read a poem and the names of several dozen infants, in the Renew Through Sharing Garden at NCH's Arlington Heights hospital.

Normally, in-person attendees would then release butterflies into the garden, one by one. Instead, Kottmeier let the 40 creatures out of their box.

Even if people can return to attending in-person next year, Kottmeier said she may continue to also broadcast it live on Facebook, due to the positive response from the parents.

"I got a good amount of people who don't normally attend these who said 'Can you include my baby's name?'" Kottmeier said.

Kottmeier, a former labor-and-delivery nurse, recalled escorting a new mother whose child had died out of the hospital years ago. Once outside, a blue swallowtail butterfly circled the mother, again and again. The patient and her family now think about their baby when they see butterflies.

"I think there is something magical and spiritual about them ... They are sign that transformation is hard but can also be beautiful - like grief," Kottmeier said.

"Thank you for saying their names for us," wrote one of the parents, in the live comments during the video.

The Renew Through Sharing program helps parents prepare for a birth that won't have the usual positive outcome, or grieve the loss of an infant before birth. For more information about its services, including support groups, call Kottmeier at (847) 618-8415, or visit nch.org.