A Ramadan to remember
Everyone is sifting lessons from the current crisis, and without a doubt, no one is going to forget 2020. Every family has a story to tell about a postponed wedding, virtual internship, canceled vacation, or the worst - loss of a loved one.
For me, these unique circumstances are bittersweet. My heart aches for my oldest child not being able to enjoy the last few weeks of senior year and possibly having a virtual high school graduation. I know there are bigger problems in the world, but I also know it is OK to be sad.
However, I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. Call it a Ramadan awakening, but the stay-at-home order is actually something I am cherishing because this may be the last time for many, many years that my son, Yusuf, will be home for the entire month of Ramadan, the most special time for Muslims around the globe.
Since the Islamic calendar is lunar, each year Ramadan starts around 10 days earlier. Unlike Christmas and other major holidays that college students can celebrate at home, Ramadan will be during the school year for the foreseeable future. Ramadan will coincide with winter break in 2031, but by then I hope my 30-year old will be settled and independent - perhaps making Ramadan memories with his own family.
So this really may be it ...
When my neighbor's son left for college last year she said she didn't really feel the void as he wasn't home much as an upperclassman. I would have been in the same boat. Until March 13, I actually was. With school, volunteer work, a part-time job and then plans with friends, we really didn't see a lot of him. Even last Ramadan, not only did he have plans with friends for iftar (breaking the fast at sunset), they even made IHOP suhoor (predawn meal) so popular that our local pancake joint needed more staff for weekend night shifts in Ramadan.
All that has changed, and while I feel bad that the graduates are missing out on many milestones, I am determined to make the most of this Ramadan with him. It is sad that we cannot go to the mosque this year, but I love that Yusuf leads us in prayer after we break our fast. Later at night, we listen to a short talk about the Quran, load up on snacks and play Scrabble. I know I'm lucky he isn't going to college too far away, and that I am blessed with two younger daughters, but it's OK for every child to have their own special place in your heart.
When they live under your roof, as a mom you get to keep an eye out to see if they are fasting, praying and reading the Quran in Ramadan. Once they're in their dorms, surrounded by friends and newfound freedom, you wonder if they will continue to observe Ramadan diligently. Will they really wake up at 4 a.m. to eat? Will they break their 16-hour fast with instant noodles? Will they make it to Friday prayer on campus?
God gave me 18 years to try to set an example. As a mother, I hope I did OK. We believe that God loves each one of us more than 70 mothers, so even though Yusuf may not be home for another full Ramadan, I know God will protect him wherever he may be.
I know we will look back at Ramadan 2020. I just hope we don't say, "Remember, that Ramadan, the one where we were stuck at home?" Instead, I hope we reminisce about the slower pace and remember this year as the one where the whole family enjoyed staying home together. So bring on the samosas and pakoras. We're here to make memories to last a lifetime.
• Kiran Ansari runs a small business and lives with her family in Elgin.