Virtual connection keeps youth involved in mentor program

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) - When school was first canceled, 'œit was kind of like summer vacation for a little'ť for 10-year-old D'Andre 'œDee'ť English.

Among other things, English passed the time sheltering in place by playing with his twin brother, De'Andre 'œRae,'ť watching television and doing push-ups. And the recent return of school through virtual learning has brought back some semblance of normalcy.

But still, English grows sad as the uncertainty over the COVID-19 pandemic hits. Like many his age, he is left pondering the next time he will be able to play outside with his friends.

'œAs it gets darker every night I worry in fright, I toss and turn in my bed all of these nightmares fill my head,'ť English said, writing his thoughts down with paper and pen. 'œThinking about when I can go outside to see my friends and I explode with a sadness in my head. As I watch the news I cry and say why did it have to come to this. The only thing I want is a sunny day so everyone can go outside to play but one day it will happen so I pray.'ť

English's raw, powerful thoughts were captured as part of an activity through The Outlet, a local not-for-profit that pairs fatherless boys and young men with positive male role models who help guide them on the journey to manhood.

English and his brother have participated in the mentorship program, founded by Michael Phelon in 2004, since they were 8.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, meetings at The Outlet's building were a weekly staple for the English twins and about 45 other boys and young men.

The program offers one-on-one and group mentoring, career development and life skills training. It takes kids on summer college trips, visits museums for cultural awareness and also runs a summer sports league.

Though these in-person meetings and some other related activities are not possible under the state's stay-at-home order, the organization has been using the Zoom video conferencing service and other digital tools to maintain those crucial ties and 'œbring some normalcy to this crazy world.'ť

While it could have perhaps been easier to simply put the program on hold for the duration of the stay-at-home order, Phelon said it was more important than ever to keep things going, even if the mentoring takes place through a computer screen.

'œWe feel that, if anything, we should really put on the gas and we should go even harder now because these young guys, they're at home,'ť Phelon said. 'œYou know, some are not in the best situations. You know, some of the young men, being at school, being at The Outlet was their only kind of safe haven.'ť

And with Zoom, it still is, at least three days a week. The group meets virtually on Mondays for a social and emotional learning session. It meets Wednesdays for calls just to check in. And Thursdays, it has guest speakers.

And the early reviews have been positive.

'œIt's good,'ť English said. 'œYou still get a lesson, still teaching positive stuff, still meeting new people. You know, I feel like I'm in the same community even though we're not there.'ť

Phelon said they are starting to get into a groove, making adjustments on the fly as they figure out what works best for online mentoring. He said it has been difficult at times, acknowledging how mentoring at a distance can be a challenge.

'œBut we're adapting,'ť Phelon said. 'œA lot of these young guys, they have had to adapt for their entire life through situations being not of their own. So a lot of these young guys, I think they're just not understanding that they have the strength to survive, and not only to survive, but to thrive. And that's what we try to pour into the guys.'ť

Twenty-year-old Russell Moore III has been participating in the program since he was 8, when it helped him cope with the loss of his grandmother. And over the years, he has gradually shifted from a protege to a mentor role within the program.

A student at Lincoln Land Community College studying computer science, Moore said he is 'œa very hands-on person,'ť making it initially difficult to adjust to the stay-at-home order.

'œI feel like with this pandemic going on, I feel like I'm crutching on my resources a lot more than what I used to,'ť Moore said.

This includes emailing his professors and taking advantage of other tools he did not previously know were available.

Amid the adjustments, Moore said it was reassuring to still have The Outlet as part of his routine a few times a week.

'œSo, in a sense, us keeping the idea of making a video chat where we can all physically see each other, it gives us a sense of peace that everyone that we see in our community is OK. Everyone's fine, they're safe, there at home,'ť Moore said. 'œYou know, it gives us that real, brief sense of relief that though everything's going crazy, we're all still safe and fine, and we're all still together.'ť

English, one of the younger participants, sees light at the end of the tunnel. He acknowledged the roller coaster of emotions - including sadness and anger - he has experienced over the past month.

But, he credits The Outlet for keeping his emotions level during this difficult stretch.

'œThe Outlet brings us together to work as a team ... and that (is) where I want to be,'ť English said. 'œWe are a group and a community. We work together to help others, and that's what we do.'ť

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Source: The (Springfield) State Journal-Register, https://bit.ly/3eF3TWL