Grammar Moses: Lead with the most important thing

Samuel Betar III asked me which of the following sentences is proper: “Last week I applied for a job” or “I applied for a job last week”?

Both are proper, Samuel, but one can be more effective depending on the circumstance. Which you choose depends on your motivation for saying or writing it.

Is it the fact that you applied at all that's most important or when you did so?

Say your dad is getting a little tired of your lazing around all day, playing on your phone. He nudges your feet off the hassock to get your attention, sits down next to you and asks you when you're going to get a job.

You might respond somewhat defensively with “I applied for a job last week.”

Fast forward two weeks. Your feet are back on the hassock and you're playing “Call of Duty” on your phone with your buddies, when dear old Dad storms in, knocks your feet off the hassock, grabs you by the collar, gets in your face, the V of blood vessels pulsing on his brow, and shouts, “Still no ever-loving job, you lazy so-and-so?”

You might alter your response to reflect that gainful employment is top of mind: “Last week I applied for a job!”

In writing newspaper ledes we try to emphasize the most important of the five W's (who, what, why, where and when) and the H (how) first.

Sometimes that is the size of the tax increase. Sometimes it's which politician got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Sometimes it's where the latest Wahlburgers restaurant is being built. Sometimes it's how someone managed to fall from a 10th-floor balcony without getting hurt.

In many cases, we in the news biz like to stress that it's happening NOW, whatever it is. Promoting that sense of immediacy is important for our brand. It tells you we are on top of things.

Reader Stewart Truelsen wrote to complain that a certain national news anchor “begins her newscast with the same two words, ‘Breaking news.' I am so tired of hearing this. I'm not sure where and when the term originated or how it became so overused. News by its very definition is previously unreported information. What then is breaking news? If it is something just happening as she goes on the air, then I would be OK with the term, but to use it every night to lead off the newscast is overkill and annoying.”

Stewart, I hope this is proving therapeutic for you.

I grow weary with its overuse, too.

We'd never put “breaking news” in print, because it would be at minimum six hours from the time something happened until you read it.

If it's “breaking” it's happening now, it's developing.

So when we send out Breaking News alerts on our website, through push notifications or in emails the information was just made available, it's happening now or it's just about to happen.

“Breaking News: Forget toilet paper. American grocery stores have been seized by a run on Twinkies.”

In this case, “breaking news” alerts you to something that is happening now and perhaps gives you a leg up on the fella who isn't paying attention so you can do something about it.

Paraprosdokian

I wrote a week or two ago about paraprosdokians, the cornerstone of one-liner comedy.

My wife posted this spectacular one on my Facebook page:

“My therapist told me, ‘Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.'

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.”

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.