Weight management in grief: It's worth it to make it a priority

Many people wish to lose weight, adopt more healthy eating habits or get more exercise. All good ideas but harder to do than having wishful thinking and good intentions.

And especially if bereaved, our defenses and willpower are down, energy somewhat drained, motivation low - so it's easy to overeat, treat yourself to too many desserts, snack on junk food and forget to exercise, whether that means going to the fitness center or going for daily walks.

And on top of all this, as we get older, it is harder to manage your weight - it's easier to gain weight and harder to keep up an active life with regular exercise. And we may have more time to cook and eat out, which creates extra temptations.

I've looked into various weight loss methods related to diet. I have learned good ideas from each of three methods, which combined makes a good formula for me. They are:

• The Mayo Clinic Diet

• Montignac Method.

• Keto

My goal was to find a way of eating that I could maintain even after losing the weight I wanted to lose. I wanted a food plan that is satisfying and one where I would not be hungry all the time. It's doable.

Of course all three of these three approaches involve cutting out sugar, most sweet desserts, cookies, white flour, bread and pasta. Some allow whole grains.

If you like to cook, it's very important to cook food that allows you to enjoy it, but not gain weight, the biggest challenge is not to regain the weight you may have lost. So you want to cook favorite foods that support your new way of eating.

And we need support from each other to stay on track.

The same applies to restaurants - you need to order the right foods and forget the bread basket while waiting for your food to be served. Order a salad for the waiting period. Restaurant meals are a challenge for most because of all the goodies and oversized meals served to diners.

Here is what I learned from the three approaches:

Mayo Clinic Diet

This method is really just a healthy way of eating. From this I learned a lot about portion control and serving sizes. We Americans have gotten in the habit of overeating with big portions, large dinner plates and snacking on chips, etc.

To lose weight by this Mayo diet, one must really limit serving sizes at meals and no snacking except fruit and vegetables. The diet also has you keep a daily food journal to make sure you do not exceed the daily limits on protein, dairy and carbs. You are allowed no sweets, candy or wine. It works and I was not hungry because the meals are tasty and enough to satisfy - and you're allowed to eat a midmorning or afternoon fruit snack. I lost 22 pounds on this Mayo Diet, but for the last 5 pounds, I switched partially over to the Montignac Method because it has a phase 2 that keeps you from regaining weight. With Mayo, once you go off the prescribed diet limits, it's very easy to regain weight.

The Montignac Method

From the French fellow Michel Montignac, I learned about the importance of combinations.

The basic idea is to not mix carbohydrates with fats in each meal. Eat fruit only on an empty stomach - like in the morning least 20 minutes before breakfast.

This Montignac Method works for me and is excellent, satisfying and easy once you know the principles. It is my preferred method going forward.

The great feature of this method that you can maintain the weight you lost by adding a few exceptions such as 70 percent dark chocolate in midafternoon, or desserts once and a while, but mostly keeping to the basic principles on combinations.

Keto

Here I learned to be much more wary of carbohydrates, even whole grains, which is very helpful. I have a fellow member of my exercise class who lost a lot of weight on keto, but it's a bit too restrictive for me. It basically cuts out most carbs - not even eating whole grain bread and pasta ­- and limits it what type of fruits to eat, based on carb content. But it's good to be aware of lower-carb fruits, such as berries and cantaloupe.

So the point is: When coping with grief, or long-term grief, the last problem we need is more stress.

And gaining weight is often a source of extra stress because we usually do not feel good about getting heavier - it makes clothes too tight, drains energy and often it causes extra health problems. So it's worth thinking about what is a the best way of eating for you.

If you have friends trying to lose weight or just trying to "eat healthy," be supportive. A true friend will respect their wishes and not tempt them, even if you are just trying to be hospitable.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a Ph.D. in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College, and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.