On 'cold' foster care

I'm one of those "evangelical Christians" disparaged by Michael Reagan in his Herald op-ed of Nov. 13. I've even got that e-word on my church door.

I am also one of those e-folk who tried to live out the biblical text of James 1:27 Reagan cited, admonishing us to "take care of orphans and widows." In the 1970s, our family fostered six children for varying amounts of time through Illinois Department of Children and Family Services - along with caring for two children who had been born to us. We joined several other families in our evangelical church who similarly enlarged their families temporarily or permanently as the need warranted. After several years of our care, it became apparent that families of two of "our" foster children would not be able to rehabilitate, so we adopted those two - one with special needs who remains financially dependent to his day.

In all of my experience connecting with other foster parents in our church and elsewhere, I never saw anything remotely close to Regan's description, "cold foster care." We cared for "our children" (those born to us and those who came via a DCFS caseworker's car) with pretty much the same love and intensity. When foster kids returned to their birthparents, we wished then well, and cried - after they left. When some could not return to their birth families, we adopted. And paid the price emotionally and financially for enfolding an often-needy child into our family.

I do not hold a position on whether same-sex couples should become foster/adoptive parents. I think that matter is best decided by legislators and mental health professionals and of course the individuals involved. But "cold foster care" does not fit any of the loving foster families that I knew - or my own.

Carolyn Nystrom

St. Charles