Bad decisions veer me off course, but a retreat puts me back on track

It is hard to believe that we are halfway through the challenge and after a few fumbles I have been reflecting on my actions, both the good and bad.

My body is still adjusting to exercise and continues to ache. Never mind the fact, I am confident my diet is contributing to these issues.

The past week, I thought reintroducing bread to account for my carb intake would work out but after reviewing the high numbers, it was clearly a poor decision.

The bad decisions didn't stop there.

To compensate with a busy schedule of responsibilities, visiting family and friends, and dealing with my body's fatigue, I found myself eating out more and skipping meals, resulting in high carb and low calorie days.

I found myself at a wall, unsure of what to do.

Just in time, this past weekend I attended a meditation retreat with the Great Plains Zen Center in a quiet farming community located in Wisconsin.

Feeling overwhelmed with stress, it felt difficult to balance life's demands, but fortunately this retreat left me feeling reenergized and motivated to do my best.

I've been a part of this group for several years now and have decided to rededicate myself to the practice by participating in the monthly retreats and taking on a role of Tenzo, or chef.

One may think that meditation wouldn't be difficult, but these retreats are not an average experience for most people who have meditated, for it is not guided and is completely silent.

Seated meditation begins early, at 5:30 a.m.. and includes breaks, work practice, and teachings - we sit all day until about 9 p.m.

During meditation, we sit still on cushions without movement, besides brief walking meditations between sittings.

These long days can be tiring to the mind and body, and having proper nourishment during meals is vital.

During the retreat I was experiencing the benefit of meditation, but along with my role as Tenzo, my responsibility to provide nourishment for the group had me contemplating my own habits.

My teacher, Susan Myoyu Andersen, had a teaching about our meals. She tells us, "Cooking for people who are practicing sitting is a really amazing experience and eating the offering of food we should remember why we are here."

For me, this rippled through my thoughts.

Not only is the food we eat an offering, but our lives are also an offering, and each moment we are living we need to take full advantage of our lives as human beings without coasting along.

Each moment of our lives we make decisions and we solely are responsible for using our time wisely, and I do not want to squander my time by making poor decisions.

In order to care for others, I need to care for myself, beginning with taking control of my actions with each passing moment.

It is my responsibility to make the right choices, to use my time wisely and to do the best I can, by caring for myself, so I can care for others.

• Kat Polomsky is a Daily Herald events specialist and also helps manage the Fittest Loser At Work Challenge.

By the numbers

<span class="fact box text bold">Starting weight:</span> 155

<span class="fact box text bold">Current weight:</span> 146

<span class="fact box text bold">Week weight lost:</span> 0 lbs.

<span class="fact box text bold">Total weight lost:</span> 9 lbs.

<span class="fact box text bold">Percent weight lost:</span> 5.8%