Widescreen: Cat videos on the big screen, for a cause
Cat videos have been a staple of the internet since the age of AOL and dial-up modems. We watch them every day on our tiny iPhones, but never on the giant screens normally reserved for the likes of Catwoman and Simba.
That changes this weekend when CatVideoFest 2019, a touring 70-minute compilation of cat clips that benefits local animal organizations, comes to two area theaters.
Billed as a “joyous communal experience” by its official website, CatVideoFest plays at noon Saturday, Feb. 16, and Sunday, Feb. 17, and 7 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 19, at the Music Box Theatre, 3733 N. Southport Ave., Chicago ($12, $9 seniors and children 12 and under). It will also play at 7 p.m. Monday, Feb. 18, at the Landmark Renaissance Place Cinema, 1850 Second St., Highland Park ($15).
If you can't make it to these theaters, look for it at the Marcus Addison and the Marcus Gurnee Mills on March 11.
A portion of all ticket sales for CatVideoFest helps needy cats; the local partner for the traveling film festival is Red Door Animal Shelter, a no-kill shelter for cats, dogs and rabbits in Chicago.
Gonzo sci-fi flops
I've been reading about James Cameron's desire to make a live-action version of “Alita: Battle Angel” since Ain't It Cool News cornered the internet market on movie rumors. The “Titanic” king's adaptation of the manga series arrives in theaters this week courtesy of director Robert Rodriguez, and Hollywood's tea leaves suggest it will be a bomb — The Wrap reports the $200 million sci-fi fantasy is headed for a $25 million opening take.
So it appears “Alita” will join the club of overpriced, overblown science-fiction flops whose ranks include “Jupiter Ascending” (toilet cleaner Mila Kunis saves the universe with the help of dogboy Channing Tatum), “John Carter” (a middling Burroughs adaptation saddled with a terrible ad campaign) and “Titan A.E.” (animator Don Bluth's attempt to appeal to teenage boys).
This is a fascinating subgenre all its own, one that I can't resist. I love it when studios throw untold millions at a project that has no chance of succeeding. Perhaps the patron saint of such movies is Luc Besson's 1997 absurdist space comedy, “The Fifth Element” — a modest hit with a $264 million global gross that became a cult classic on cable, yes, but also the most expensive European production to that point, and no guaranteed smash.
Twenty years later, Besson struck out with the enjoyably crazy “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets,” a $177 million 3-D extravaganza that grossed $40 million less than “The Fifth Element.” If you liked Milla Jovovich playing an orange-haired supreme being, you may very well enjoy Cara Delevingne as Laureline, a gun-toting, spaceship-flying, bikini-wearing military agent who wears an enormous hat in a scene with a hugely funny payoff.
“Valerian” begins with a montage set to David Bowie's “Space Oddity,” transitions to an extended animated sequence that looks like “Avatar” by way of the Bahamas, and features Rihanna as a shapeshifting blobfish.
Clearly, it is awesome.
You can stream “Valerian” on Amazon Prime, but you already knew that because my description of it had you furiously Googling before you even got to this sentence. (Obviously.)
• Sean Stangland is a Daily Herald multiplatform editor who recently welcomed a dilute tortie kitten named Khaleesi into his home. Follow him on Twitter at @SeanStanglandDH.