Listening is a great skill at holiday gatherings
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so you may know how you ought to answer each person."
- 1 Colossians 4:5,6 (NIV).
With the holidays coming, this would be a good time to brush up on our social skills.
During the holidays, our attention usually turns to the festive decorations, tantalizing recipes and special aromas. All of this is part of the fun, but to get the most out of our holidays, we need to know how to have good relational skills.
The holidays can be a time when people with social anxiety feel more isolated, left out, or anxious about how to relate with family and friends.
Others who aren't socially anxious can still feel a bit that way when thinking about dealing with difficult family members, workplace parties, large crowds or juggling a house full of company. Many people feel awkward wondering how to relate with someone they see only once a year.
To start with, flashing a smile or giving a sincere compliment is a great way to give a warm welcome. As you mingle or sit at the table, try asking others how they are instead of focusing on you. It shows that you are interested in them.
Simple small talk can fill in awkward gaps. Asking someone their holiday plans or to pass the salt can be a good icebreaker.
Be kind and courteous. "Please" and "thank you" are amazing words in any conversation.
Listening is a great social skill, giving you the opportunity to learn some new things, plus it takes the pressure off from feeling anxious wondering what to say.
Keeping it simple and remembering that listening is just as important as speaking can help. People appreciate good listeners. If you read the gospels, you'll see Jesus did a lot of listening.
Take some extra pressure off yourself. Most people feel a little anxious from time to time. Knowing this can help you through any awkward or anxious moments. Understand you don't have to be the best communicator or allow anyone to make you feel less than who you are. In God's eyes, no one is more important than another.
Most important, watch out for your negative self-talk. You don't need to be down on yourself. You can stop focusing on your own thoughts by paying attention to what's being said.
Have fun with it. Grow a little at a time. I used to be shy, but over time grew by observing how others communicate. If it seems too overwhelming or difficult, try getting help through a life coach or counselor.
This year, you don't need to miss out on the holiday fun. Start practicing now and learn to socialize.
• Annettee Budzban is a Christian author, speaker, life coach, Bible teacher and nurse. Invite her to speak at your church group, business or organization or to be your personal coach. Annettee can be contacted at annetteebudzban@aol.com or (847) 543-8413, Visit www.annetteebudzban.com.