Web opens a wider world for seniors

Connecting the elderly family members in your life with social media tools like Facebook, Twitter and Skype can be a huge gift to a population that is often isolated as they age.

By using social media your aging loved ones can stay up-to-date with others' lives and if you use face-to-face tools like Skype to communicate, you can see if they are losing weight, slumping in depression or looking pale, as well as if their body language is communicating distress. It is much easier to keep tabs on someone's true well-being if you can lay eyes on them regularly.

In addition, caregivers can report on how things are going, in the presence of their "charge," while on Skype, offering concerned family members real-time information, according to Fred Caffey, agency director/owner of the Visiting Angels home assistance franchise in Chicago.

"It is a just a much broader form of communication than simply talking over the phone," he added, "and is a great way to engage the senior and combat any isolation they may be feeling. Isolation, after all, is a close cousin to depression.

"In today's world, many of us live very far away from our parents and elderly family members so we need to find new ways to engage with them. At Visiting Angels we have found that there are vast emotional benefits to using social media. After interacting with their loved ones, our seniors are in better spirits; they sleep better; and it even improves their physical well-beings," Caffey stated.

"The long, cold winters we endure in Chicago are very much the enemy of our seniors so any family and friend interaction and engagement that we can bring into their lives is positive," he continued. "These interactions become positive mental health experiences."

Unfortunately, technology intimidates many senior citizens and they are fearful of trying to learn to use it. But trusted caregivers who understand modern technology can help ease the way on simple tasks like logging onto a computer, using Facebook, email, Skype and so forth and even installing Uber on their phones so they can easily call for transportation.

Caregivers can even assist them with setting up the necessary accounts because their adult children often live many states away and while they help while they are present, the lessons taught can be quickly forgotten.

Another popular communication tool, according to Caffey, is the "What's App" tool for a smartphone. It allows a pre-established small group to text in real time and share photos. Many smartphone users enjoy that, he said.

"For instance, when their grandson who is serving in the Navy is on leave in Tokyo and sending them photos from Japan, it just lights them up! They love feeling like they are still an active and valued part of their family members' lives," he explained.

"Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook recently mentioned this himself," Caffey said. "He talked about if Facebook could bring people closer together when they were living far apart, he would feel that it had been a success. In my mind, this is particularly true if one of the people interacting is an otherwise isolated, shut-in elderly person.

"My caregivers so often report that their elderly charges' faces are bright for at least an hour after one of these face-to-face interactions - even those who only leave their houses once or twice a month these days. Social media truly is an effective way to counteract social isolation," he added.

It is important to remember, however, that there are two sides to every social interaction - online or in person.

So the Visiting Angels corporation undertook a study last fall to see how 500 grandsons and granddaughters between the ages of 18 and 34 felt about interacting with their grandparents on Facebook and other social media tools.

The idea was to use the information to help seniors more effectively communicate and share life experiences with the younger members of their family circles.

The study revealed that while most grandchildren enjoy having Grandma and Grandpa on Facebook and interacting with them there, some secretly want to "unfriend" them because they post embarrassing stuff. So beware.

But remember that the discomfort of grandchildren can be overcome if grandparents are careful and since the benefits of having the elderly use social media tools to stay in close touch with family far outweigh the risks of embarrassing the younger generation, go for it.

But take heed of the following guidelines:

Don't post personal stuff

One in four respondents said their grandparents post too much information) about their love life, social life or sex life. More than one-third say grandma or grandpa also post dirty laundry about family feuds or finances.

Don't rant and rave

One out of five grandchildren say Grammy goes "Emoji crazy" in comments or posts. In addition, 33 percent of respondents say they don't like when a grandparent gets too political or goes "holy roller," posting too much about religion (28 percent).

Don't tread on personal turf

One in four respondents say it's not cool when Grandma tries to friend THEIR friends.

Thirty percent of grandkids say it's embarrassing when Mimi or Pops post personal comments in public places, like their timeline. And half surveyed say they don't want grandparents commenting on their social life. In addition, a quarter don't want their grandparents publicly commenting on their hair, weight or clothes.

Don't spread doom, gloom and guilt

Twenty-five percent of grandkids say they do not like to see grandparents post that they are lonely, unhappy, sick or sad. One out of five respondents also say they also don't like to see comments about a grandparent's health, medical issues or procedures. One in four say they feel guilty when Grandma posts "Why don't you visit or call more?" and that's not good.

Don't try to act cool

Twenty-two percent say it's not cool when Grandma or Gramps tries to act cool. And one respondent specifically commented that he wants to hide when grandparents "COMMENT IN ALL CAPS."