Grammar Moses: To each and every one of you, please prevent pleonasms
In the film "Amadeus," Emperor Joseph II offers a critique of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's latest work: "My dear young man, don't take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It's quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that's all. Just cut a few and it will be perfect."
To which the snarky young composer responds: "Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?"
That delicious exchange is a highlight of the film and also a reason why the king would have made a great newspaper editor had he not been busy, you know, running an empire.
It's a speech I've given to many a reporter, including one who responded that by removing one word I would be "sucking all of the awesome" out of her story.
Of course, you knew there would be a word to describe the use of more words than are necessary to convey meaning: pleonasm.
Here is a list my colleagues and I came up with in which "too many notes" are written or spoken in everyday life, followed by their shorter solutions:
• Each and every one of you: each of you or all of you.
• Due to the fact that: because.
• Located at: at.
• Fully engulfed: engulfed.
• Completely destroyed: destroyed.
• Learned something new: learned something.
• Punched with a closed fist: punched.
• Alternative choice: alternative.
• Absolutely necessary: necessary.
• At this point in time: now
• At the present time: now
• Forever and ever: forever.
• Perfectly clear: clear.
• Advance warning: warning.
• The first ever: the first.
• Completely unanimous: unanimous.
• Added bonus: bonus.
• Advance planning or planning for the future: planning.
• Attach together: attach.
• Complete stranger: stranger.
• Suffocated to death: suffocated (as with "electrocuted" and "drowned," "suffocated" death is a necessary result.)
• 10-year anniversary: 10th anniversary.
• Completely filled: filled.
• ATM machine: ATM (The M is for machine. You're sure to find pleonasms with initialisms and acronyms, such as AC current, CAD design, DOS operating system and the HIV virus.)
• Joint collaboration: collaboration.
• Close proximity: near.
• Climbing up a mountain: climbing a mountain.
• An unexpected surprise: a surprise.
• Commuting back and forth: commuting.
• 9 a.m. in the morning: 9 a.m.
• In order to: to or so.
• Safe haven: haven.
• Fewer in number: fewer.
• Merge together: merge.
• During the course of: during.
• Surrounded on all sides: surrounded.
• Totally unique: unique.
• Usual custom: custom.
• Former graduate: graduate.
• Exact same: same.
• Unsolved mystery: mystery.
• For the purpose of: so.
• Repeat again: repeat.
• Back in 1962: in 1962.
• In my opinion: I think.
• Add an additional item: add an item.
• Knowledgeable expert: expert.
• End result: result.
• Whether or not: whether.
Just think of how much we could reduce our carbon footprints if we avoided exhaling these phrases!
Write (and speak) carefully!
• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbau-mann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.