How to handle the holidays while grieving

Here are suggestions from facilitators of a program called GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays for dealing with a loved one's death at this time of year:

• Realize the holidays will not be the same without your loved one who has passed.

• Make an inventory of your holiday traditions and celebrations.

• Assess which traditions and celebrations you can handle.

• Make a plan for how to approach holiday gatherings and how many to attend to avoid being "ambushed" by emotions.

• Talk about your plan so there is no awkwardness among relatives.

• Accept invitations tentatively; explain that you'd like to attend, but you might not feel up to it.

• Attend parties with a supportive person who can help you excuse yourself if you feel overwhelmed.

• Don't be afraid to change traditions or try something new.

• Don't feel forced to change traditions for the sake of changing.

• Remember that each person's grief journey and coping mechanisms are different.

• Allow friends, neighbors, co-workers and relatives to help you with holiday preparations and everyday tasks.

• Express your emotions, because suppression halts healing.

• Turn to faith, a grief group or a counselor for support.