'The Bachelorette': Five questions after a weird and dramatic episode

After a lackluster "Bachelorette" premiere in which the most drama involved a guy who kept saying "whaboom," producers really stepped up their game in the second episode. Here are five questions we have after week two:

1) How excited were "Bachelorette" producers when they found out DeMario had a girlfriend?

"Bachelorette" contestants who have girlfriends back home is nothing new - the franchise has a long and embarrassing history of men who stretch the truth about their relationship status. These situations are always convoluted, and, in some cases, appear completely scripted. And the bizarre scene that unfolded on Monday night's episode was no different.

It started after Rachel took some of the guys on a group date, where they competed in a basketball challenge. As the game wrapped up, a woman named Lexie approached and asked if she could talk to Rachel. Lexie claimed to have an interesting story: She had been dating DeMario (a 30-year-old recruiting consultant from Los Angeles) for seven months until one day he stopped returning her texts. Then, a few days later, she saw him on "After the Final Rose," as one of the few guys introduced early to Rachel after last season's "The Bachelor" finale.

Rachel was shocked, and pulled DeMario out of the locker room to get his side of the story. DeMario's first reaction upon seeing Lexie was "Ahhh, who - who's this?" His faux-confusion fell apart as he admitted he had met Lexie long ago and said they dated "off and on," and then insisted that he broke up with her in person. Lexie, clearly relishing every minute of this, swore on her father's grave and "on my kittens sleeping in my house right now" that an in-person breakup never happened.

It was a humiliating spectacle for everyone that devolved into DeMario's stammered, confusing explanations while Rachel grilled him with questions, lawyer style, and Lexie gleefully told DeMario that she had text messages to prove everything. Ultimately, once Rachel took a peek in Lexie's phone, it was over. "I'm not here to be played, I'm not here to be made a joke of, which is what I feel like you're doing right now with me," Rachel told DeMario. "So I'm really gonna need you to get the f--- out."

The whole thing was weirdly dramatic considering the audience knew DeMario for all of two episodes; yet at the very end, he showed up at the "Bachelorette" mansion and begged host Chris Harrison to talk to Rachel again. Hmmm, producers couldn't have planned a better ending for a cliffhanger ...

2) Should Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis appear on every episode?

The star couple showed up to a host the first group date, an obstacle course that would prove whether the guys were "husband material." And the two were hilarious, from the details about their home life (their Monday nights include "The Bachelor" franchise, white wine and vodka tonics); the way they grilled the contestants about their qualifications (Kunis: "Who here has health insurance? Does everybody here have a job?"); and their obvious disdain for some of the men (Kutcher: "I'm gonna make a bold prediction. I don't think Rachel's guy is in this group.").

3) Will Dean become a front-runner?

Viewers cringed on "After the Final Rose" in March when Dean (a 26-year-old startup recruiter from California) was one of the early bachelors to meet Rachel, and immediately told her, "I'm ready to go black, and I'm never going to go back."

How did that opening line go over with Rachel? Last week, Rachel assured him that she loved it, and this week, she reiterated the same thing.

"You came out the first night, and you made a very bold comment," Rachel said when the two had alone time during a group date. "I don't care what anybody else says. I loved it. I appreciate confidence. ... For me, I was like, 'You know what? He came out here and didn't care if people were gonna love it or hate it.' So I was already intrigued."

The two bonded even more as Rachel found they had immediate chemistry. "Dean is making me laugh. The conversation is so easy. He makes me very comfortable," she confided to the camera. "And it does not hurt that he is so handsome."

4) Can both Lucas and Blake go home soon?

The only thing more annoying than Lucas saying "whaboom" is Blake (a 31-year-old aspiring drummer) complaining about him, saying he's only there to be on television. You don't say! Thankfully, the contestants that tattle on others for not being on the show for the "right reasons" tend to go home sooner than later.

5) How did Copper hurt his leg?

Peter (a 31-year-old business owner from Wisconsin) landed the coveted first one-on-one date with Rachel - though you could see the fear in his eyes when the bachelorette gushed that her "best friend" would be joining them on their getaway. What absurdity would "Bachelorette" producers cook up this time?

Well, nothing, except an absurdly cute dog! Rachel's 2-year-old rescue dog, Copper, bounded out of a car wearing a cast on his leg.

Peter (who, luckily, seemed to love dogs) asked what happened to Copper, and Rachel replied that she would tell him later. However, viewers never got to see the answer, and "Bachelorette" Twitter was burning up with questions.

Sensing the urgency of this mystery, Rachel offered a few details after the episode:

"Inquiring minds want to know what happened to Copper … he broke his toe jumping off something," she tweeted.