'CHiPs' are down: Ponch goes raunch in R-rated revamp
What we get with "CHiPs" - Dax Shepard's randy, R-rated take on the blandly inoffensive 1977 NBC TV series - is the sort of lowbrow action comedy usually released in the waning weeks of the summer season.
Take a vintage 1970s Hal Needham comic chase movie (say something like "Smokey and the Bandit"), gas it up with insane stunts, nudity, sex, violence, homophobia and loads of off-color humor, then get a dedicated cast to perform it. That's how this "CHiPs" falls.
Chicago's own Michael Pena stars as Frank "Ponch" Poncherello, the role originated by Erik Estrada (look for him in the third act). Ponch is now an FBI agent operating undercover as a member of the motorcycle-riding California Highway Patrol so he can catch corrupt cops led by Vic Brown (Vincent D'Onofrio).
Shepard, juggling writing, directing and producing credits, plays Ponch's newbie partner Jon Baker, a role originated by Larry Wilcox. Baker has joined CHiPs out of desperation to save his marriage to a trophy wife (Shepard's real spouse Kristen Bell) won during his heyday as an X-games motorcycle star.
Now, after 23 surgeries, he has become the mere shadow of Evel Knievel, a physical wreck whose skill with a bike still remains so impressive that the CHiPs hiring agent (Maya Rudolph) signs him up for the force.
Off the two men ride to join other light-hearted buddy/cop/agent TV shows (such as "Starsky and Hutch" and "I Spy") given ambitious yet disappointing adaptations to the big screen.
The ultrathin corrupt-cops plot here quickly falls into the metaphorical sidecar of Shepard's buddy/cop comedy, primarily centered on the testy relationship between the seemingly incompatible personalities of Ponch and Baker.
Sometimes, you almost forget why Ponch has joined the highway patrol, so his FBI supervisor frequently checks in to remind him.
"What's your job?" he asks.
"Find the dirty cops!" Ponch replies.
Maybe that's his second job. His first one appears to be dealing with a host of sexual issues, such as overt homophobia, addiction to self-abuse and an inability to focus on anything but women in tight yoga pants.
Meanwhile, Baker hopes his gig as a CHiPs cop - even if he looks like a UPS delivery guy - can save his marriage to a woman he thinks he loves, but clearly doesn't.
At least he keeps his head, unlike one poor corrupt cop who motorcycles into an invisible wire across the road.
As the movie's tagline says, "CHiP happens." Even Alvin and the Chipmunks would reject that one.
“CHiPs”
★ ½
Starring: Dax Shepard, Michael Pena, Kristen Bell, Vincent D'Onofrio, Maya Rudolph
Directed by: Dax Shepard
Other: A Warner Bros. release. Rated R for drug use, language, nudity, sexual situations, violence. 101 minutes