South Bend woman lives by a simple motto: 'Life is a gift'

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) - There are many things Mara Rugh can't do on her own anymore.

Once a special education teacher and later an engineer, multiple sclerosis ended Mara's working life. She can no longer drive, or walk, or stand on her own. Most of her time now is spent in her corner room in Southfield Village, a long-term care facility.

But the soft-spoken woman is determined to still live her best life, despite the mounting assaults of MS. And she has inspired many friends who have set out to help her to do so.

Right now, that means trying to help her regain some independence with a more versatile wheelchair, which she can't afford.

Sitting in the bulky wheelchair in her room that is shaped more like a bed, Mara describes how she needs help maneuvering over to her computer area or even to play Bingo down the hall.

Originally, she was pining for a $40,000 power chair to replace one that broke a couple of years ago. That would have allowed her to once again control many of her own actions.

A recent checkup with her neurologist was sobering, though. Her eyesight has continued to deteriorate, and the doctor pointed out possible safety issues with her slowed reaction time.

Now she has her sights set on a turn-in-space wheelchair for about $15,000, one that would still require help from another but would include controls allowing her to maneuver such operations as the tilt of her head.

And it would be in hot pink, a color that matches the stuffed flamingoes that adorn her room.

Oh, there are many other things on her walls and her shelves that are reflective of Mara's interests and her faith. Snoopy and Woodstock, cats, butterflies, a dream catcher, a drawing of Jesus. "I decided I'm probably going to be here the rest of my life," she says of the decor, "so gol-darn it, it should be interesting."

But she feels a special connection with the flamingoes, all gifts from friends.

"Flamingoes don't look like they would be very strong," says Mara, who once lived and worked in Florida, among other places that most recently included Elkhart. "But yet, when you get down into it, they're very strong. ... They know instinctively how to survive."

'Beyond a project'

Theo Williams met Mara about a year ago through a friend at Bethel College, where he is an associate professor of communications.

Hearing about her need for a state-of-the-art wheelchair, he visited about four times to shoot enough video to create one that might be used to help her raise the money.

"When you first meet her, you can't help but fall in love with her," Williams says. "I've never heard her complain. She's always rearing, ready to go."

When Williams showed Mara the video he created, she recalls, it was so beautiful that it made her cry.

He and his wife also established a fundraising page for the $60,000. Once initial social media sharing had run its course, raising a little more than $6,000, he realized he could help in another way.

Williams enlisted the students of an event-planning class to help Mara.

Every year, Williams teaches a semester-long Foundations of Communications class, whose goal is to involve students in planning and pulling off an event that includes such tasks as arranging sites, ticket sales, donations and publicity.

This year, the 13 students have organized a buffet dinner for Nov. 19 that will include raffles for donated goods and seeking monetary gifts beforehand and that night.

But the biggest goal is to throw a party for Mara, whose health might not allow her to stay long but who is looking forward to the party.

"The main thing is we want to get bodies there," Williams says. Some tickets will be donated for those who can't afford the $35 but who want to show support for Mara. "We really want her to see the people."

He'll be shooting a new video to show that night, in case she's not feeling well and can't make it.

Mara intends to be there, although she notes her low voice isn't suited for speechmaking.

"I like parties," she says. "They do me good."

Williams hopes the event will raise the rest of the necessary money for the wheelchair, which could be delivered by Christmas.

"This is going to go beyond a project," he says of the students involved. "They're going to have a feeling of accomplishment. ... They've changed someone's life, and you can't put a grade on that."

'Life is a gift'

Kathleen Urda of South Bend was among about 40 people who attended Mara's 60th birthday party in August.

That so many people would attend is reflective of Mara's engagement with others.

"She really is amazing," Urda says. "Her ability to stay interested in things and other people, it's just remarkable."

Urda first met Mara in 2003, when Urda's mother was a Southfield resident. Although her mother died in 2008, she still frequently visits Mara. Over the years, for instance, she helped Mara sort through and arrange photos for albums that sit on her shelves labeled by state or subject matter.

It's been difficult seeing her deterioration over time, compounded by the lack of even the small independence a better wheelchair gave her.

Meanwhile, Mara, whose MS was diagnosed in her 20s and who has lived in Southfield for 16 years, stays as active and engaged as she can.

She's hooked on Candy Crush and is trying to master a more recent version, Candy Crush Soda. Her computer and social networking allow her to stay connected with friends and exercise her brain.

She admits to following "Dancing with the Stars" and various judge shows on TV.

Mara chose the title of a little autobiography another friend helped her write a couple of years ago. It's her motto: "Life is a gift."

"I depend on my friends," Mara says. "They keep my attitude up."

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Source: South Bend Tribune, http://bit.ly/2fhcXm0

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Information from: South Bend Tribune, http://www.southbendtribune.com